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The early morning breeze blew a few fly aways in my face, but I swiftly pushed them away. I sat on the living room balcony of Giovanni's condo, on my macbook, watching videos.
"Today is the day my oldest daughter walks down the runway for the very first time. Of course, I took my paid-leave for this moment. I'm super proud of her and I'm happy that this is making her happy. Plus it's in the beautiful Milan, Italy. Korin are you excited?"
The sound of my mom's voice made me close my eyes and sob. I was up at the crack of dawn watching videos of my mother because she'd appeared in my dream last night, but I couldn't hear her voice. She was talking to me and all I heard was silence. It scared me so that I woke up, but I then realized that I didn't remember what she sounded like. Her voice had faded from my memory and it made me feel like a horrible person.
It also reminded me that she was no longer alive. For the past month I'd been solely focused on my work along with Gio and I's relationship. I hadn't given myself time to fully grieve her death aside from the few days before the funeral. Now I was being hit with the hard truth again. My mother was gone and because I hadn't talked to her often before she died, I'd lost the memory of her voice.
"Hey, you alright?" a voice came from behind me. I turned around to see Pete. "You need me to get Gio?"
"No, don't bother him. I'm fine. I just came out here to watch a few videos to avoid waking him up." I wiped at my eyes.
He looked over at my laptop. "One of those mornings huh?"
"...I couldn't remember what she sounded like." my voice cracked a bit. "I don't know how I let that happen."
"I'm pretty familiar with what that's like." he leaned against the door frame. "I was raised by my grandma and a few months after she died I couldn't remember the sound of her voice. I didn't have videos to look back on because she hated cameras but I remember it tearing me apart. I just couldn't understand how the voice that always made my day vanished from my memory."
"You remember it now though right?"
He shook his head. "Nah. I wish I did though. I could use it right now."
