Sahlo Folina

019 06MOON 15

Tyler hadn't come.

I waited and waited.

Sahlo Folina.

I wrote so much, holding on to this diary like a lifebuoy to keep my head out of the water.

And the bayou grew deep, so deep.

Ned swam by my side, his horns growing as the words crashed onto the page.

And I waited.

I waited until I saw that gigantic wave coming towards me.

And Tyler hadn't come.

But I decided the wave wouldn't crash me down.

I thread my rebel clothes up, that wrinkled green jumpsuit, and I suddenly felt excitement running through my veins. Energy such that it waked my dormant being.

I felt like a glowing spark escaping from the fire. Lighter and higher than I had ever experienced with my backpack stuffed with my meagre possessions. And my diary, more precious than anything.

I was flying as I ran through those grey hallways with those washed out people to make it to the underground.

Flying.

Like a vulture.

I didn't expect to crash down into the void so fast.

I ran like I had never run before. I fled with the claws of fear trying to clutch my back. A fear that had a name. A fear that had a face. Blurred.

I ran like my life depended on it. But it was certainly the case.

All alone.

In that landscape I once found beautiful.

All alone.

In Trench.

And Trench seemed like a foreign place. Again.

Dangerous and wild.

I was all alone.

As if they had erased it all. As if they had stolen it from me.

And I felt the pressure of this new place crumble upon me.

A weight so heavy it crunched my shoulders like sharp clamps.

My muscles burned, my vision blurred and my mouth breathed fire.

The deafening clamor of my wild heart weighed in my ears.

All alone.

It started with a mumble.

"Jumpsuit, jumpsuit, cover me."

Like an unstoppable train it rolled on my tongue.

"Jumpsuit, jumpsuit, cover me."

It was too late to stifle now. The words hissed from my mouth in a desperate cry clinging to sanity.

"JUMPSUIT, JUMSUIT, COVER ME!"

I tumbled and crashed on the ground, on the plants, on the yellow flowers.

Two feet landed on my vision.

Then a hand.

"You didn't come." I said to Tyler, refusing his help to get me up. "You said you'll be there if I needed you."

"I'll be right there, kiddo. But you'll have to destroy me if you need me. The thing is, if you want me, then you will take me down with you. You will have to bring my demons back. My fears. You'll have to destroy who I am. Make me hate what I do."

Through my glowing eyes I could see once again the guy standing up against Nico. The black hands. And the pale knuckles around his throat.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I can't do this anymore, kiddo. Nothing can drag me back there. Not even my will to help you. If I go back, I'll get to Nills. And that will be the end. They will never let me go. Ever. I'm tired of tending to this fire, do you understand?"

"Tyler, stay with me, please. I... I need you."

"No you don't. You don't need anyone, kid. Look at you, running like a wild beast. You really are a pet cheetah. And you made it on your own. But don't forget, in Trench you are not alone. Never. You will always find the support you need. It's your turn to be the message man, kiddo. And It's time I left the city. For good."

I could find nothing else to say as I felt my world stumble down.

"But... but where will you go?"

"The love of my life is out there, kiddo. Far, far away from Dema. I would never let any Bishop get hold of her, you get me? I'd rather step to them and get beaten down. But I don't want her to grow tired of waiting for me. She's a tear in my heart, you know. She reminds me I'm alive at every second."

"That seems like a cool feeling."

"It is. You will experience it one day. I promise."

There was no need for a "goodbye", for a "farewell", for a "I'll miss you".

We had said what we needed to say.

But as the man turned over with one last smile and started to walk off, I couldn't help but throwing a last sentence to him. To tell him I was strong enough to let him go. Because I knew, deep down, that he cared. Because he had been waiting all this time for me to get out before going away.

"Know I'll keep moving."

"I know, kid, I know. Sahlo Folina."