Hold Onto Me 'Cause I'm a Little Unsteady

Chapter Twenty-Five

During his time kidnapped, Peter made a list of the things he didn't want to think about for fear that he'd never get to have them again.

1. Dad

2. Pops

3. Harley

4. Morgan

5. Home

6. FRIDAY

7. Spider-Man

8. Elodie and Luc

9. Ned and MJ

10. Freedom

But now, looking around the dining room table, he realizes he's gotten everything he'd been wishing for. He has his family and friends, he has FRIDAY and his home, he has freedom.

He doesn't have Elodie and Luc, but he doesn't want them back. The only reason they were included was because they were the only ones keeping him alive. But he has that too. He has food on the table and a bathroom down the hall, his bedroom not much farther.

Instead, he's started compiling a list of things that might trigger him. Things he doesn't want to be used anymore for fear it might remind him of that place.

At first, he felt guilt for taking these things away from his family, but as the list grew, he felt better. He knew it would make them happy for him to be happy.

They were just small things like orange juice boxes and granola bars, the words Boss or Sir or anything along those lines.

Some things were unattainable. He knew it was impossible to ask his family not to have any running water. It wasn't possible. It was his top priority to work through, so he could go back to showering or bathing without adult supervision. Sam says it's normal, it'll just take time. Peter has hope he'll be able to get through this.

Now that he's been able to remember his days spent in his prison, he's starting to remember the specific things he was missing and has been making an effort to appreciate these things.

He lies in the grass in the backyard of the tower, appreciating the sun on his skin, and the soft green grass beneath his bare feet.

He snuggles into his warm blankets, remembering a time where he was always cold and shivering. He steals more of Harley's old hoodies and basks in the warmth they bring.

Appreciation for the things around him he never thought he'd get back.

And now he has it all.

*

Christmas rolls around not long later.

It's been a long month of recovery for Peter. He still has a long way to go, but he's proud of how far he's gotten already.

MJ, Ned, and Harley have been working extra hard over Winter Break to tutor him and prepare him for exams at the end of January. He has less than a month to go, but he believes in himself. All he really needs to work on is his Spanish and his History.

Tony still isn't totally on board with the idea of him going back to school so soon, but he trusts Peter in knowing himself. If Peter thinks it's too much, he'll voice it.

The rest of his time has been spent talking to Sam, working in the lab with his Dad, working out with his Pops, or watching movies with whichever sibling is around.

They eat pancakes before presents, a long-standing tradition in the family. The traditions help Peter remember who he is and where he's come from.