bts imagines

when you're insecure [j.hs]]

when you're insecure

"for fuck's sake." i ripped the piece of paper from my notebook, scrunching it up in my hands.
i dug my hands into my hair in frustration, lowering my head, as my breathing begun to deepen.

can i do anything right?

i'm sitting on my desk, in my bedroom, attempting to write something. anything to publish. i've dreamt of becoming a writer ever since i was a little girl, and i decided to start chasing my dream recently.
but for some weird reason, my brain cannot think of anything.

why am i trying, anyway? what makes me think that people will read my writing, and enjoy it? what makes me think, that publishing my book will work in the first place?
what if the publishing company rejects it, and i have no other place to turn to? do i restart, write an entirely different plot? or do i just give up?

i didn't realize i was crying until i noticed my tears staining my notebook.
my head shot up once i heard my bedroom door opening.
hoseok took one look at me, and his eyes softened. he silently entered my bedroom, closing the door behind him.
he sat on my bed, and motioned for me to do the same.
i suppressed a sigh as i got up, and sat beside him, sniffing.

hoseok immediately embraced me, resting his head on my shoulder. i immediately relaxed at his touch, before wrapping my arms around him as well.
we pulled away after a few seconds, which felt like my minutes.
hoseok swiped his thumb underneath my eye. i looked down to my lap, but looked back up once hoseok raised my head with his finger.
"are you thinking about it again?" his gentle voice spoke.
i nodded. "i can't help it. giving up is just so much easier."

hoseok immediately shook his head. "no, y/n. don't think like that."
"how can i not, hoseok? what makes you think people will like my work?" small sobs slowly started escaping my lips. i wiped my hand on my cheek, biting my lip.
hoseok looked like he was in pain, as he opened his mouth to speak.
"y/n. what you are doing right now, every writer out there went through it. struggling to think of something, just sitting on your desk in frustration because you can't figure out how to write a specific plot."

"but what happens after that, y/n? you suddenly just click. your head is just clouded with all different sorts of ideas, possibilities. it's as if a bomb went off, and after it explodes you immediately start writing what you're thinking about. what you're doing right now will lead to something so big, so extraordinary. giving up is the easy way out, but working hard to achieve your dreams will feel so much better when your work gets the recognition it deserves."

hoseok took a slight breath, before continuing. "you're the most talented person i know, y/n. you have such a bright future ahead of you, i know that for a fact. but you just need to work hard, consistently, to get what you want. i'll be there for you, by your side, every step of the way."

i took one look at the sincere eyes hoseok was looking at me with, before embracing him for the second time, my tears beginning to soak his shirt.

"i love you, jimin. i love you so much."