Ownership

Chapter 13: Tale of a bleeding heart

I wasn't angry with him. No, i was just disappointed. Lincoln knows I love him and don't mean to hurt him. Yes i pulled a pistol out on him. yes i attack him a knife. Of course you might think i'm a mad woman for getting aroused by inflicting pain on others. But at the same time my assault was driven by anger as well. I stared out the car window, the houses we past by looked all the same to me. After another mile i no longer saw any homes, just fields and wilderness. My mom talked to my love about my mental state prior to my attack. She told lincoln it was my choice to seek help or not. However my say in the matter was quickly snuffed out the moment of my latest psychotic episode came to light to my mother. Finally we made it to our destination. Above the front entrance was a sign that read lovecraft psychiatric facility. The name didn't sit well with me, the main reason being it was named after a man who wrote horror stories. The complex reminded me of a prison. People wearing white uniforms, barbed wire fences. I knew instantly i didn't like the place. I needed to convince my mom that i was of sane mind quick.

"Mom, please i wont do it again, I give you my word." I begged her. She silently shook her head as if she didn't believe a word I uttered.

"You got to understand that you can't do stuff like this. I haven't been a good mother and the condition of your mental health is a result of it." My mother stated with a heavy heart. There was no way out of this. I always had a way of manipulating people and sweet talking them . My mom was one of these people however it didn't work this time. We both exited the car and made our way inside. The lobby was huge. The wall were egg shell white . The floors were had black in white tile pattern similar to floors in masonic temples. Two orderlies were waiting as if they new i was comming. They were both female and were dressed in all white. The only thing that wasn't the color white was their black dress shoes. The pair gave us a gummy smile, the smiles didn't come off as friendly to me one bit. The pair seem to have mannerisms like a robot.

"Hello Miss lee, i hope you had a pleasant trip to our hospital." One of them asked. The way the woman spoke didn't even sound human. It sounded like her introduction wad rehearsed over and over again. To be more clear, it sounded like the young lady was brainwashed.

"Yes, the drive here was no problem. I would like to stay and chat but i have to go." My mother claimed. I immediately hugged my mom again begging her with tears in my eyes not to leave me here. After several attempts of my mom struggle to break free from my grasped, i was ripped away from her by the orderlies. I saw my mom waved goodbye to me before disappearing out the front doors. It took me a half hour to calm myself down. I slowly came to terms with my situation. I was given a tour of the hospital, every room, every hallway and so on. Everywhere we went looked the same. White walls with black and white patterns on the floors. Afterward i was given my a set of clothes issued by the hospital. Mother forgot to bring my stuff with me. The clothes i got were the color white nothing suprising there. They were made out of cotton and very thin. I was led to my room for the night. I had room to myself thank god. It was the same design scheme like everywhere in the place. I entered inside, the door was locked behind me. To me sleep was out of the question . I laid in bed wide awake staring up at the ceiling. You all might be dying to know more of how I ended up in this place. Here's the my tragic tale my friends. I had a secret no one knew not even my close comrades. I was sitting at my desk in my room a week ago. My secret was that im a sadist . Yeah i enjoy inflicting pain on others. In my case i only get excited when i smacked around the loud boy . At first i bullied lincoln because he resembles my abusive father. However it all change the summer after 6th grade. I started to develop more in my chest. I also felt my brain changed as well. Ironically the feelings of pleasure and pain became blurred not to mention distorted. I became brutal, more heartless to my victim. I came to the sick conclusion that i might get turned on by the fact that Lincoln looked like my father and it's like im beating my dad. I know, i know it's sick. I tried to lock away my desires after lincoln moved into my home. Yet on the day of my downfall i no longer could contain myself. I needed to torment lincoln in the most hurtful way possible to get rid of the itch. I searched my brain for an idea but nothing came up. I glanced down at the surface of my desk. I notice my new marrijunia pipe i got from spencers sitting in front of me. That's when I came up with an idea. Lincoln didn't know this but my weed dealer was my ex boyfriend lane dean. Heres a little bit about lane, lane was a boy my age with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was a nice kid in the first year of middle school. The young boy wouldn't hurt a fly. That all changed when i started to hang out with him over the summer before 7th grade began. I turned him into a cold blooded bastard. Yeah i know im evil, what did you expect im a demon. I began to date him in 8th grade, we both tormented lincoln to the extremes. Our relationship didn't last but we kept in touch. I ordered Lincoln to come with me to lanes house that day. I taunted him with memories of him looking like a weakling in front of lane. Lincoln was furious and embarrassed even though he was silent the whole ride there. Unfortunately i crossed the line. I kissed lane in front of him to piss him off even more. It backfired on me so bad. Lincoln told me that his family wanted him back home. He asked for some time to think on the matter. That kiss was the deal breaker. Lincoln wanted to go back home. He stormed off leaving me and lane in disbelief. Denial, it's not your best friend, it's a liar. I convicted myself lincoln was just blowing off some steam. I hung out at lanes place for an hour before heading home. I discoverd my servant wasn't there. I panicked. what if he was just play a horrible joke on me. I waited in my room for 5 hours and still no lincoln loud. That when a concept creeped into my mind. Ronnie anne, it has to be ronnie anne. Images of lincoln with that whore in bed plagued my psyche. Them Kissing, moaning, making love. With each minute that went by the idealization of my servant committing adultery to get back at me was haunting . I turn to the mirror seeing my reflection. My pupils were bright red. This was the moment where you considered when i was consumed by madness.