Camp Shiganshina

❤️T W E L V E❤️

Nightmares, like for most people, are absolutely terrifying. Like what is it with our brains to believe that scaring the ever loving God out of us when we're trying to rest is a good idea? Why do our minds crave sleep only to dwindle it by the everlasting nightmares?

My sister Mikasa has been the epicenter of all my nightmares for the past ten years. And although I love that girl, it doesn't change the fact she has been terrorizing me for years.

Something that I hadn't told Levi, or even my own mother, was the fact that I found and saw Mikasa's dead and mutilated body. During the initial police investigation they listened to me and followed me to where I believed Mikasa was last seen; the treehouse. It was only a few feet away, hidden behind a bush that was covered with flies. I ran over to the bush first, seeing the red scarf she loved so much by her feet.

I ran over, the leaves crunching and the police officers yelling at me to stay put. I didn't listen, for I believed I had just found my beloved big sister.

Of course said beloved big sister was lying dead behind the bush covered with flies and other insects. She lay there amongst the foliage, standing out like she always did. The grass was standing up around her, playing happily with the wind blowing against it. There was a singular flower, placed right above the head of my deceased sister. At the time I had no idea what it was, all I knew is that it was a pretty flower at the head of my sister.

What I know now is that it was a black rose, delicately placed and planted before my sister.

I screamed as loud as my child lungs could, gasping for air as tears ran down my face. I stumbled backwards, tripping over the roots of the bush. I had fallen down onto the muddy ground and crawled backwards away from the corpse of my deceased sister. Paramedics and officers rushed over and saw her body quickly covering it with a plastic clothe. One man pulled me away as I continued to scream and cry for my sister to come back.

For her to breathe once more.

To laugh and smile.

To yell at me when I was being troublesome.

To give me hugs and fight off the bad kids at school.

I screamed until my lungs gave out. They were raw, my face red and wet from both tears and the water the paramedics tried to get me to drink. They called my parents as soon as possible, but until then the camp counselors insisted I stay with them until my folks showed. Mrs. Ral was kind enough to let me stay inside her office as the children stayed inside the main building playing games and colouring.

Of course I wanted to be out there, playing with them and having fun. But just a few short hours before the fun and joy had been snatched from my life.

It was late into the evening when my parents came to pick me up. The officers had told my parents the body was found and that I was in shock. Neither of which they were wrong about. My father insisted I seek counseling immediately as it was unnatural for a boy my age to be crying over the death of some silly girl (as he put it).

This was also the time my parents got divorced. I guess the death of a daughter really puts a lot of pressure and hurt into a family, so much so that they get torn apart.

As Mikasa's death is the epicenter of my nightmares, as they happen almost every night for the past ten years, she is also the epicenter for the occasional good dream. Although that hasn't happened in at least five years. And tonight was no different as I jolted awake from my bed, screaming and sweat streaming down my face.

The visual of the nightmare was much too realistic for my liking. My sister's neck has been slit opened, just barely keeping her head attached to the body. And even the few nerves and muscles that did were straining to hold on. Her stomach slashed open and her organs oozed out along with gallons upon gallons of blood. She leaned in close, spoke words I never want to repeat, and proceeded to call me horrendous things.

Of course my screaming wasn't silent in the slightest and happened to awake Levi before I even woke up myself. He had already rushed over to my bed and tried waking me, but that was no use. My dead sisters corpse liked to keep me close in my dreamscape.

And so, the very second I jolted awake he tried to steady my shaking body.

"Eren, damnit Eren, calm down. I can't help if you don't cooperate with me," I heard Levi say, not bothering to keep his voice down. He was almost at the verge of yelling, as if he had been doing this for a while.

The visions of my sister's lifeless and stiff body soon started to slip from my mind as I started growing more attention to the man next to me. He seemed genuinely concerned as he was yelling at me to pay attention to him. Gotta love his sarcastic mean nature.

"Levi..." I breathed out, trying to calm myself. My breathing is heavy, deep and uncontrolled breathes coming out of my mouth. I could feel my face all sticky and wet from the tears. I don't remember the last time my nightmares were this bad.

Then again I usually don't remember the entire scene of the crime in so much detail.

"Yes, it's me Levi. Just breath for me please," I heard him say. I hadn't turned in his direction but felt his hands wrap around my arms. It felt nice, having arms wrapped securely around my body; it felt nice and very different. Even my own mother couldn't help me to put me into this high of a level of security. I felt completely safe and compliant with a guy I only knew for a few days, not sure if that scared me more or not.

"I'm scared, Levi...I'm so scared," I muttered out, still seeing the blood and near decapitated head of my sister. It was a wonder I have decided to go into forensic studies seeing as how one case haunts me forever.

"Darling it's going to be okay. Maybe not now, maybe even not a year from now, but I promise it will all get better. I'll make sure of that," Levi said, sitting on my bed and facing me. He practically picked me up and sat my body between his legs, holding me close until my nightmaric attack was over.

He kissed the top of my head, kissed my shoulders, my neck, moved up to my face, even got down to my lips eventually. But nothing more than that; I would probably murder him if he tried to have sex with me in such a vulnerable state. But I knew he wouldn't, I can tell me has hidden scars and a mysterious past he won't talk about. I'm no different though because my own mother doesn't know I saw the scene of the crime.

Alas we stayed there, eventually lying down and holding each other. Nothing had ever felt more right in my life, and nothing will ever come close to this.