⚠️SENSITIVE ISSUES⚠️
Your POV
It's been a few days since you'd been to the police. You've been trying to get on with like, get some normality back. But nick hasn't left you alone. Everywhere you go he'd be there.
I'm going to the toilet you'd say. He follow and wait outside. It's cute but I feel like I'm suffocating. I know he's only being the sweet, genuine boyfriend he is but it's all a bit to much. Not only that but you still feel disgusting. You feel contaminated. You can't even let nick put his hand on your waist without jumping and pushing him away. He can touch you hand that's it.
You feel bad about it. That's an understatement you felt like shit about it and keep blaming yourself. If only our have pushed the guy away and fought back. But you didn't. You just said no multiple times and froze. You must've wanted it to happen. Just because I said no. It doesn't mean anything. You didn't fight. Clearly you wanted it. You must have.
These thoughts ran through your head all the time. It hurt. But you kept pretending for the sake of the boy, for the sake of Nick.
You were sat with the boys, they were all having a laugh. Occasionally you let out a little chuckle as if you could actually laugh.
You: I'm going to get some water
Nick: let me get it
You: I can get my own water.
Nick got up and got your water for you.
You: ...thanks...
He smiled at you.
You: I'm just going to get a change of clothes
Nick: okay baby, I'll come with you, I'll get you one of my tops.
You: I'm capable of walking up the stairs and getting my own clothes you know.
Nick: I know, but I'm still coming with you.
You: no nick.
You could feel blood start to boil.
You got up to walk to the stairs and nick got up and followed you.
You: Nick, LEAVE ME ALONE!
You screamed. Then stormed up stairs and locked yourself in the bathroom.
As soon as you closed the bathroom door you broke down, you back sliding down the door till you were curled up against it.
The tears flooded down your face.
You felt horrendous. Nick didn't deserve that. He was only being caring.
You felt so angry at yourself.
Why are you such a mess up. Why did ou shout at Nick. You idiot.
You felt anger keep building but towards yourself. You needed a release. That's when you saw the razor on the side.
It was staring at you.
You were staring back. Trying not to give in.
It was like it was calling to you.
You walked to it and picked it up.
Next thing you knew you were cutting your wrists. You couldn't feel the pain. You just felt relief.
So you kept cutting, giving yourself reasons each time.
-one for shouting at nick
-one for not fighting back
-one for letting that man touch you
-one for running from nick.
-one for thinking you actually deserve nick.
-one for putting all this on the boys.
You heard a knock at the door.
Nick:(y/n) you okay in there?
You didn't answer.
Nick: I'm sorry.
-one for making him think he needs to apologise.
He tried the handle.
You forgot to lock the door.
He walks in and see you with the razor.
He legs it to you and snatches the razor out of your hand.
Nick: what are you doing? Why are you doing this?
He grabbed some tissues and covered the cuts.
You broke down in tears.
He pulled you close.
Nick: why did you do this to yourself?
You just sobbed.
Nick: please talk to me.
You: I just feel so shit. I feel like I've burdened you all. I felt crappy about shouting at you when I had no reason to. I felt like everything that had happened was my fault. I did fight the guy of. I didn't move. So what I said no. I didn't push him away, clearly I must've wanted it deep down.
Nick: Don't! Do not say that. Don't think like that.
You: I basically cheated on you, why you staying with me? I don't deserve you!
Nick: you did not cheat! You said no several times. You didn't want him to do that. So stop with that and second you do deserve me truth be told I don't deserve you. You're always here for me, you stick by me, through all the hate and stress. Your amazing.
You: don't!!! Don't be nice to me, I don't deserve it. I just screamed at you.
Nick: I was being too protective.. I get it. The boys explained it too me.
You: You were.. are perfect. I love you!
Nick: I love you too baby. Let's get you cleaned up. Promise me. Next time you'll talk to me instead of resorting to this.
You nodded. You couldn't say I promise, you didn't know if you could control it....
Do you guys want a Part 4- comment below???
