If you know the song this is inspired by, you'll know its about a mum but I'm changing it to be about Austin. If you don't know the song then maybe listen to it before you read this, I don't want anyone to be affected by the issue this surrounds. If you want to listen to this while reading, might help you understand better.
YOUR POV
I understand that people have different ways to cope with what life bring. I get that. I also get that people go through dark phases, where they need saving and not always from other people but from themselves and their mind. The story I'm about to tell you is about my boyfriend...well my ex-boyf...well, is it classed as ex if they are dead. Sorry, I'll tell you the story.
My boyfriend is...was... Austin Porter, he was famous, he was in a boyband called PrettyMuch (idk if you heard of them😉). He was following his dream. It all started out so well. He was happy and was really enjoying being famous. He was happy to be sharing the fame and the stage with his best friends. They were all rolling in the fame whilst keeping grounded. They were all happy and proud of how far they had come, Austin very much so.
At least that's what everyone thought and saw...except me. I saw the truth. Behind closed doors I saw everything, every hurt, every tear, every fear, every little thing.
I saw the reality. I saw how he was being affected. I saw how the hate got to him. He tried to ignore it but it wasn't getting any easier. He tried to stay strong. But he couldn't. He needed something to help him cope.
Now I didn't find this out for a while. He did it on the low. Never around me. He was hiding it.
I got why he did that. Doesn't mean I wish he didn't.
I didn't know how bad it was until it was BAD. So bad that now I will never see his face again, I'll never hear his voice again, I'll never hear him breathe again, I'll never feel his touch, his kiss, his skin, his lip,his body. I'll never get to cuddle him and tell him it's okay. I'll never get to play with his hair or watch him proud while he performs on stage with the biggest smile on his face because in that moment he was genuinely happy.
I remember the night so clearly. Like it just happened.
He said he was coming to get me at 6pm we were going out for dinner. It's been a while since we done something like that together so I was shocked but excited. I spent hours getting ready. I wanted to look good for him, so he could be happy and know that I loved him so much.
It got to 6:30pm and he still hadn't turned up. I was texting him.
You: where you at boo? Xxxxxxxxxxx
You: we still going out? Xxxxxxxxxx
You: it's getting late, where are you?? Xxxxxxxxxx
You:I'm getting worried baby, what's going on? Xxxxxxx
You: baby?
You: text me back please?
I rung him 200 times.
No answer.
Nothing.
Silence.
It was now 8pm. I was sitting in myself not know what to do. I heard a knock. A smile grew on my face. Finally, he was here. I ran to the door. Laughing.
"Where you been boi, kept me waiting long en..."
It wasn't him.
It was the police.
"Are you (y/f/n)?"
You nodded your head in response.
"I'm sorry to tell you that Austin Porter is dead"
The police man said. I couldn't listen to the words that followed. Everything went distorted. I felt sick. My head was spinning. The next thing I knew I woke up in hospital surrounded by the boys.
They all just looked at me.
"Don't"
I simply said.
"Do not say it"
I made it clear.
"Y/n you gotta say, it will help you start to get over it" Brandon said.
"GET OVER IT. I DON'T WANT TO GET OVER IT, I WILL NEVER EVER BE OVER IT. BECAUSE I CAN NOT ACCEPT IT"
You bursted into tears.
Edwin hugged you.
"I'm sorry they were the wrong words" Brandon sniffled.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you, your probably hurting more than me right now, he was you guys best friend, part of your family."
"You're hurting just as much" Zion said.
"You know the last time we saw each other.....
Flashback...
Me and Austin were sat on the bed, he was showing me some new songs that him and the boys had been messing with, they were really good. He played one called Eyes Off You and I started bawling. I was so proud of him. He looked so happy and that made me happy. I just cried I was in awe of how amazing he is. How much he's progressed. How much confidence he's gained.
Flash back end....
...little did I know, ey"
I started crying my eyes out.
"He's really gone"
I felt like all the oxygen had been taken out of my lungs and the air around me. My world had stopped... dead in it tracks. I couldn't breathe, the air just wouldn't fill up my lungs. It went black.
I woke up again still in hospital. Still with the boys. But Austin was there.
"Baby, I knew you weren't really gone" I hugged him.
Third Person POV
"She's back with us" nick said tryna lighten the mood.
"Baby, I knew you weren't really gone" she said.
We all looked at each other.
"What she..." Zion started.
"(Y/n) who are you talking to" Ed asked
"Austin, he's right here. I knew he wasn't gone." She pointed next to her on the bed as she kissed the air.
"Y/n he's not here" Brandon said going to grab her hand.
"He's right there"
"He's gone" nick said, fighting the tears.
They all hugged her.
YOUR POV
I looked and he wasn't there no more. I hugged the boys tight. He was really gone. I had to accept that.
"He's dead, he's never coming back" I said.
They just continued to hug me.
"How could he leave us?" I asked. Anger filling my words.
"Why did he leave us?" I asked
"I'm sure he didn't intend to leave us, the pills took a hold of him, they controlled him" Zion said.
"I knoww, I don't blame him, I blame me. He felt he couldn't talk to me, I couldn't help him. I was a bad girlfriend." You said. The anger faded, blame and shame took a hold of you.
"If that's what you think then we are all the blame, he didn't talk to any of us, but none of us are so stop that" Edwin stepped back.
"I know I'm sorry I've just lost a half of me, I can't function without him. I don't know to feel, I don't know how to feel, I'm lost" you cried again.
" we are all here for you" the boys said.
"I'm here for you too" You said.
"We will get through this together" you said
As you all had a group hugged and sobbed together.
