⚠️SENSITIVE ISSUES⚠️
Your POV
So nick had finally listened. He's giving you space, letting you get on with life like "NORMAL" but it's not normal anymore. It's not normal to be this scared of your own boyfriends touch.
Last night all he did was put his hand on my thigh. Usually I loved that. It's my favourite thing but instead I moved my leg from him.
The night before he put his cupped my face to kiss me and I pulled away.
Just the thought of being intimate was impossible.
You felt repulsed by your own body and the thought of someone's hands on you... it's like when nick touches you, you imagine it's the guy that raped you.
This has happened ever since that night.
Another reason why you started cutting, but nick caught you last time so you started cutting your thigh, so he won't see. It's easier to hide.
If nick knew... he'd be so upset with you. But you just couldn't stop, it's like whilst doing it-you gained control of what was on your body for a little while.
Nick came back and you were sitting on the bed in hoodie which was long enough to cover your cuts.
Nick: hey baby! He said he went to kiss you and you dodged it.
You:I'm sorry... you mumbled.
Nick:I get it baby, no rush. I won't hurt you!
You:I know but
Nick: you don't need to explain.
You walked over to the mirror and started to put your hair into a ponytail, you forgot you only had nicks jumper on and it rode up when you reached up, exposing the cuts old and fresh. You only realised after nick saw.
Nicks POV
She stood in front on the mirror and she looked like my baby but didn't. She was afraid. I didn't know how I could help her. I spot something on her thigh, tell me that's not. I see more and more some looks fresh some look older. I can't believe it, she doesn't feel like she can talk to me.
Your POV
Nick: baby. He says walking up to me.
You: yeh? He stood behind you not too close but close enough.
Nick: your thighs
You: what?
Nick: you've been cutting
You look down seeing they were in full view so you pull the hoodie down.
You: no. you squeeze out a nervous laugh.
He lifts the hoodie.
Nick: you have, why?
You: because I feel like crap and it gives me control.
Nick: talk to me babygirl please.
You sat on the edge of the bed he joins.
You: I feel horrible, every time you go to to kiss me or touch me, i tense up and move away. It hurts me, I feel like I'm neglecting you. Also doing it makes me feel like I'm in control of my body just for a little while. I know it stupid.
Nick: baby, I get it. I can't imagine what it's like but I understand. It's not healthy though, you know that.
You: I know.
Nick: also don't feel like your neglecting me, I know it'll take time for you to trust again, but you know you can trust me. You know you can. I won't hurt you, if you didn't want me to put my hands on you, I wouldn't. You're so precious to me, I love you with all my heart and seeing you like this hurts.
You: Nick, I'm sorry
Nick: stop apologising baby, you have nothing to apologise for.
You: nick?
Nick: what sweetheart?
You: touch me?
You didn't mean sexually, you just wanted to try it, see if you could resist pulling away.
Nick: are you sure?
You nodded. He put his hand on you thigh. You tensed up, stared at his hand for a few seconds. You didn't pull away.
He moved his hand.
You: I didn't move. I didn't move.
Nick smiled.
You lent in, slowly.
You: don't move.
He nodded and stayed still.
You move closer and closer to his face. Your forehead touched his as you tilted your face to meet his lips and pecked him.
You smile shyly.
You:it's a start I guess
Nick: it's more than a start, you're so strong, You dont need to cut okay! Also I don't care how slow we go, I'm happy to go at whatever pace makes you comfortable, I just want the (y/n) I know back.
You: I'll try!!
Slowly things were going back to normal.
I was going to finish here, but do you guys WANT a final part? Comment please.
