Catch Me

Ch. 8

Coralys pov

The only way to sum of these past few months is therapy. Physical therapy, speech therapy, talking to an actual therapist, and seeing a stupid psychologist. None of this anything I've wanted to do. But something I've been forced to do for 3 months now and takes up a majority of my day.

You're probably not wondering how I'm doing but I'll tell you anyway. I'm able to walk on my own and my speech is doing better minus the exception to a lisp. I'm not too surprised. I mean I've had a lisp most of my life.

While we're on the topic of therapy, I should probably mention that's where I am now. Sitting on the couch beside Demi and waiting for the therapist, who I don't want to talk to, to enter the room.

I hear the door open and I watch the lady in her mid 40's sit at the desk with my growing file.

"How have you been since the last visit?" Kelly asks.

"Fine." I say.

"That's good, what's been going on?" She asks.

"Physical and speech therapy." I say.

"Anything going on beside therapy?" She asks.

"No, you all take up all of my time." I say.

"How have you and your sister been getting along?" She asks.

"She stays out of my business and I stay out of hers. She does her own chores, I do my own chores. She says out of my room, I stay out of hers. I'm going back to school and so I hardly have to see her. So fine." I say.

"How do you feel about going back to school?" She asks.

"I think it's stupid and I can't wait to drop out and move out and be homeless. I won't have to put up with anyone's bullshit and I can finally start making my own decisions. Be my own responsibility and not worry about anything or anyone else but myself." I say.

"Is that what your plans are?" She asks.

"Yup." I say.

"I don't think those are very good plans. I think you are capable of a lot more than being homeless and living on the streets. You seem like a very smart young girl, why throw that all away?" She asks.

"No I'm happy with my future plans." I say.

"I have a hard time believing your mom will let you be homeless." She says.

"My mom put me up for adoption with zero fucks given. Stop calling Dianna my mom, she's not. And as for what she wants when I then 18, I don't care. I will do what I want and that's move out and leave. You're beginning to piss me off." I snap.

"Why do you want to move out when you turn 18 and loose touch with people who care so much about you?" She asks.

I remain silent knowing what she's trying to do. She knows my answer is 'They don't care, I was able to go missing for 6 entire hours without a single one of them noticing. I was so close to finally dying and being happy and all the sudden now that I'm in a coma I finally matter for a few days. Then as usual I don't fucking matter and everyone leaves me as usual. Demi's being forced into babysitting and it's been a long known fact she doesn't fucking care', but I refuse to admit it. I'm not going to give her what she wants to hear. I never have. Not when it comes to serious things at least.

"I think Demi cares a lot about you. I mean she's done everything she can for 3 entire months in hopes of making you feel better." She points out.

"I think it's hard for her to really see me as anything but evil and I do take full blame for that. I haven't done anything to prove she matters or that I love her. Just proved time after time I don't and that all I want is to see her in pain and feel as if she doesn't matter. When we adopted her I wasn't in the best of places myself and I saw her as an easy target to let my anger out. I felt like shit and I aimed to make her feel worse so that I could cope with all going on at that time. As I got older and better, I just put distance between us. I wasn't close with her and she wasn't a child anymore. I didn't know how to go about things and I was definitely still jealous of a lot of things Coraly had. So I can understand fully why she thinks I don't care. For me to suddenly show that almost feels fake for her. Or just temporary." Demi says.

"Is that how you feel Coraly?" Kelly asks.

I remain silent not daring to confirm or deny. I don't want to get my ass beat by Demi if I do. Then I also don't want this therapist to know my feelings.

"She isn't going to say it, she's scared of me. Anytime I'd hurt her she'd take blame every single time just so I wouldn't do anything more to her. So now anytime she's got to be caught in the middle of truth and me, she either takes blame or doesn't respond." Demi says.

Kelly looks genuinely concerned as she looks at me and I just pretend to be unphased. Although it's hard to not look phased, when for once I am.

I've never heard Demi talk about this. I assumed she just blocked it all out of her mind and has gone on genuinely believing she's done none of it. Or that she remembers and it's something she isn't bothered by. It makes me feel so uncomfortable to hear her talking about all this.

"Is this why you have boundaries in the house? So you don't have to be around one another? You don't have to look at her and she doesn't have to look at you?" Kelly asks Demi.

"In My Opinion, Yes. I think there's invisible lines in the house for her territory and mine. I don't cross hers and she doesn't cross mine. I find it hard to look at her or speak to her because I truly don't know how she feels about me inside. I know for a fact it's not happy when she looks at me. I don't know if it's fear, anger, pain, hurt, or sadness. Maybe all at once. I think it's best she has her space and I have mine." Demi says.

"Coraly how do you feel when you look at Demi?" Kelly asks.

I remain silent and leave get question unanswered, "Demi, I have to ask. Where you aware of her past as you did this?" Kelly asks Turing her head to Demi.

"No. All I knew was that my parents adopted a child who had been in foster care her whole life. I assumed foster care was fine. I didn't know her story and at the time it didn't matter to me. I didn't care to ask and I didn't want to know. I didn't learn any of her story until she was in a coma. It was then when I heard a single story from the paramedic. He wasn't aware the same kid he was transporting now was the same one he was speaking about from the past." Demi says.

I feel my blood run cold. What story does she know?

"Coraly you seemed to have a reaction to that, what are you thinking?" Kelly asks.

I turn my head to Demi, "What story do you know?" I ask.

"You were four, and got in trouble for not eating dinner and being up past 9 pm. That you got beaten so badly that when the paramedic had gotten to you've through you were dead in the police officers arms who was holding you. I know what the foster brother did and what happened before he did that." Demi admits.

So that's why she cares. That's what made her have a heart. She found out I've been raped, beaten, and abused for practically my whole life. That all she was doing was continuing on the abuse I had suffered many years before her. It wasn't an "oh she really needs someone now and I'm wanting to be the older sister I should've been years go" kinda thing. This is her caring about me out of so much sympathy for my past. Not because she likes me, not because she wants to be an older sister. It's all her feeling like a shit human being and feeling as if she has to make it all up before cutting me off.

It explains everything really. She ruined the stuffed animal I loved so much, then got me another one. She found out my past while I was in a coma and had to stay by my side because she needed to make sure I work up so she could make it up from that point forward. The guilt she felt for her actions kept her in the hospital room. Everything she's doing is out of guilt, not love. Not out of finally caring about me. It's just trying to get rid of the guilt she's felt since she found out a small glimpse of my before life.

"Coraly how do you feel?" Kelly asks again.

"Fucking pissed! My past is my past and not a damn person should know about it but me! If I wanted someone to fucking know about it, I'd have told them! I don't want anyone to know about it other than the people it fucking involved! He had no right to mention it past the time it happened! I have kept that my secret for all these years because I don't want anyone to know about it! Not only does she know about it, but everyone who could hear him does too!" I yell.

My blood is boiling and I'm so angry I'm shaking. My heart is racing out of nothing but anger.

Everyone is so fake. Everyone is to not be trusted. I've said it once, I'll say it again, I'm done.