SINFUL

21

what was he trying to say?

jaemin gave a sad smile, "i've seen both of you for the past 7 years. i have been with you both throughout the years. i saw your tears, your pain and it hurt me more than you did. i hated seeing you like that. i hated watching you fall and break. i wanted to be with you."

"jeno, you have nothing to be sorry about. it's not your fault, never blame yourself for whatever may happen. never. do what you love, okay? i love you, so i will never ever blame you. i love you as much as you love me. both of you. as for you, renjun, stop harming yourself. stop blaming yourself for all the negative things that is happening and that has happened. please quit attempting to kill yourself. if you want me to be happy, promise me that. jeno might not be there for you all the time. he sure is a busy business man. and wear whatever you want to wear. i won't be there to defend you anymore—"

both of them were crying and having the heaviest breaths.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?!" renjun asked and shook jaemin for he was talking nonsense.

"STOP! NANA PLEASE, STOP!" jeno begged. he got what he was trying to say. never did he imagine that he'd see jaemin in his dream.

jaemin gave that sad smile again. and it's the saddest jeno and renjun had seen.

"i'm getting weaker as days pass by. not just my body but along with my spirit. it is said that as time passes by, when my body get's weak, my spirit does, too. renjun, jeno. i asked to be in your dreams to tell you this. face it." jaemin said and it broke both of their hearts.

jaemin wanted renjun and jeno to let go of him. he knows his fate. because someone have told and showed it to him. he knew this fact for 3 years. it was shown to him 4 years earlier so he can have time to accept it all in before letting go and telling those to the most important people in his life.

"nana, no. please. don't give up now! we're almost there!" jeno begged.

"no we're not. we're not even half of it, and my body's already giving up. my body's getting weak. not just my body but also my wandering spirit. it's fading away. and the life support is the only thing that keeps me going."

they cried and cried and they couldn't do anything at all. they couldn't stop or change jaemin's fate. nobody could change it.

"please do me a favor before we part ways." jaemin asked and tried to give a smile in between his sobs.

"please get married and be happy without me. if you really want me to rest in peace, and want me to be happy, please accept this favor and do it for me. this is not just for me, this is for the three of us. i'll be happy, and you will too. always follow your heart." jaemin said and gave them the look they have never seen before.

"i may not be there to take care of you, love you, comfort you and be with you, but remember this, i love you. i always have. i always will. i love you, goodbye." jaemin said his last words before renjun and jeno woke up.

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