SINFUL

14

jaemin couldn't take it anymore. he could hear them doing it. he just couldn't believe it that jeno didn't stop him.

he couldn't take the pain, he left after they're done. he ran away. not knowing where his feet would bring him. it was raining. he's getting wet. he didn't bring his phone with him. he just brought himself using an oversized shirt. broken.

he couldn't care less if people are screaming at him for bumping them. all he wanted is, he wanted to be alone. a place where he knows he'll he happy. pain isn't just for jaemin to handle.

when he couldn't run anymore, he didn't know where he was. there were no houses nor buildings. but it looked unreal. it looked like a paradise. he feels like he's in a paradise. because of the cherry blossoms, when it's still summer. but he couldn't care less. he didn't care if he's lost. it's still raining where he was. but lighter.

he wiped his face, and sat on a bench near a tree. he sat there for a while and cried. he kept on crying. jeno and renjun have a big part in his life. all his life he has been with the both of them. helping them, and making them happy. only for them to be selfish. he thought they don't love him anymore.

jaemin overthinks whenever he's alone. his heart is breaking, he has been sobbing for hours now. and when his heart couldn't take it anymore, he lost his consciousness. 

—
jeno and renjun took a bath and changed their clothes.

"we have to apologize to nana." renjun said while wearing an oversized shirt.

"yep. we really have to." jeno responded.

when they screamed jaemin's name, nobody responded.

"maybe he's in our room, crying?" renjun said.

"nana, we're— nana?" when renjun opened the door, he was expecting for jaemin, crying. but instead, he saw an empty room with lots of tissues on the floor.

"HE'S NOT HERE." renjun said, panicking.

"what do you mean he's not there?" jeno asked from the other room.

"JENO, NANA IS NOT IN OUR ROOM!" renjun panicked.

jeno ran to their room, only to know that renjun is telling the truth.

"m-maybe in the bathroom!" jeno said, trying to stay positive.

they opened the bathroom, still empty.

"FUCK." they both said in unison.

"the stock room?" jeno asked.

"WHY WOULD HE BE IN THE STOCK ROOM ITS DUSTY AND STINKY THERE DO YOU WANT HIM TO DIE. YOU KNOW HE HATES DIRTY THINGS." renjun said and about to choke jeno to death.

he loves jaemin. to be frank, he loved jaemin first, before jeno. and he's admitting it. he loved jaemin like he's his. jaemin did a lot for him all the time. jaemin showered him with love. jaemin treats him all the time. jaemin gives him hugs and little kisses when he needs it. jaemin is a big part of him. he couldn't lose him.

while for jeno, its the same. he loves jaemin. when he first saw jaemin, it feels wrong. thinking something's wrong with him, he brushed it all off. until he realized that he loved seeing jaemin smile, he loves his laughs, he loves the way he screams at him, its weird, but it's true. he loves everything about jaemin. he loves him so much. but what he did a while ago, was full of lust. that's why he didn't think about jaemin's condition.

and for jaemin? he loves both of them equally. he loved both of them at the same time. he loves them equally. if he cooks for renjun, he cooks for jeno as well. if he kisses jeno good night, he kisses renjun, too. jaemin gives everything to the both of them. but when they treated him like that, he felt that he's lacking in something. when in reality, he gave his everything.

—