Looking For Space // Josh Kiszka

VI

I promised an anon on tumblr that I would post this a bit earlier because of the ~anticipation.~

Please believe me when I say I really had no intentions of making this smutty but, ultimately, I should have known better--it's me, after all. So, fair warning: some pretty fluffy smut. Read at your own discretion. 

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Panic and excitement mingled in my blood so furiously that I couldn't decipher which I felt more of, but I hoped it was the latter. Josh turned the key to his apartment door, and it was happening--I was there, we were moving forward, and I wanted to slow my steps to take it all in. But I couldn't even note any of the decor, distracted by the long-haired, lanky guy who looked just like Josh but not quite was sprawled out on the couch.

"Hey," he said, his eyes going to me, curious yet polite.

"We're going to my room, Jake," Josh declared loudly and took my hand, leading me down the hall and into his room, promptly shutting the door behind us. So much for taking things slowly.

"Is that your brother?" I asked, looking around the room, distracted by my surroundings. I was wrong about a lot, like the bedspread--it was a deep maroon, not blue--and there weren't any clothes on the floor; there was a shelf full of records and a shelf full of books next to a record player. But there was a dream catcher above the bed, which made me laugh quietly to myself.

"My twin," he replied. "Of course, I'm five minutes older than him."

I took note of a book on Egyptian mythology. "No need for introductions, I see."

Josh waved his hand. "You don't wanna talk to Jake, darling. He'll only bore you."

"Or are you worried I might like your twin more than you?" I asked, joking, although I wasn't sure if he got it.

"No," was all he said in response, his cheeks turning pink.

"I don't know, Josh--he was pretty cute," I teased, returning to looking around the room, glossing over more of the books. He was certainly a big reader, which made sense considering his big brain. "He might even be cuter than you."

Josh clucked his tongue and rolled his eyes before going over to the records. It only took him a few seconds before he pulled one out of the shelves and held it up to me. "Do you like Fleet Foxes?"

Anything to drown out my thoughts. "Yeah, some of their stuff."

He put the record on and, as he looked at the player, stepped backward, his hands up at his sides as if he were about to start dancing, before turning back to me. "It's a good album."

"I'm sure," I replied, feeling very exposed in the middle of his room, not to mention because his brother had to bear witness to Josh and I charging in here so abruptly. I nodded to myself, looking at the floor for a moment, before sitting on the edge of his bed.

He laid down next to me, rolling on his side. "We don't have to do anything," he said. "Especially not if you think Jake is cuter than me."

I laughed. "Oh please." I eased down next to him, mentally summoning Fleet Foxes to absorb my thoughts. The covers smelled like him--I had to resist the urge to spread myself over them completely. "I don't know if that's possible."

He smiled and leaned forward, placing his hand on the side of my neck as he went in for a kiss. It was gentle and soft and his hand was carefully placed on my neck until he moved it down to my chest, resting it flat over my heart.

"Is this normal for you?" he asked, smiling a little, his eyes on his own hand.

"My heartbeat?"

"It's very fast."