Looking For Space // Josh Kiszka

XXXII

The final chapter...

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Josh and I were inseparable since my return, the only real time apart being when both of us were working. Everything seemed like it had come together so perfectly--even our "fight" had its place in the world, with our reunification coming right around the start of spring, and everything growing green as we found ourselves unable to keep away from one another. It didn't feel unnatural though--it felt weirdly right, like we were back to where we were a year prior.

That poetry class. Josh and I joked about it often but we really did owe Steve a lot.

Our anniversary was quickly coming up, then it was Josh and Jake's birthday--plus Sam's at the very beginning--making the entire month of April feel like a social whirlwind. In addition, Josh and I had gone to a few of the boy's shows at different bars, including the one in Flint, and I was starting to feel like some sort of roadie. Not that that was a bad thing, certainly not with Josh by my side, but I didn't know how Jake, Sam and Danny found the energy.

Work was the only thing really separating us and the only real hindrance I felt I had. I was glad it was dull enough, so I never felt compelled to really talk about it, but still each day droned on and on, with me in this dark corner--literally--spitting out the most mundane combinations of words one could think of. It wasn't enriching, one could say. It was a word Josh used a lot in reference to our lives, both together and separate.

I had to get serious, maybe. Josh busied himself with his film work and had accolades to show for it; Jake, Sam and Danny had the band, which was becoming steadily more popular as the months had gone by. And what was I doing? Writing things that never really saw the light of day, aside from emailing pieces once in a while to Bev for her to critique and giving poems to Josh.

I had to say, his reactions whenever I gave him one were priceless. He made me feel like I was, in fact, the best writer in the world.

I silenced my alarm after just a couple seconds, always aware of not wanting to wake Josh so abruptly when we were sleeping together, and put my phone back down, rolling over. He didn't open his eyes but he rolled over, onto his back, and stretched one arm out, knocking his hand into my shoulder.

I could watch him sleep forever. He was the very definition of "precious," with his sandy curls against the pillow, lips parted to let out little murmurs and quiet snores, eyelids fluttering every so often and sometimes his brow would furrow and he'd snarl a little if he was having a bad dream.

As it usually went, I let him sleep a little longer while I started to get ready--brush my teeth, shower, change into work clothes. But with it being the morning of our anniversary, I'd purposefully woken up even earlier, the need for early morning sex being the plan I was intent on carrying out.

"Good morning, Starshine," I purred, sitting back down on the bed while wrapped in a towel, reaching out to stroke his hair.

Josh turned his head, pressing his cheek into my palm, and stretched his arms above his head. "Why do I get the sense it's even earlier than usual?" he murmured without opening his eyes.

"Because it is," I said with a chuckle, bending down to kiss his forehead. "I was hoping you'd want to play a little bit before I leave."

His eyes opened then, slowly, and he looked over me. "Play?" he repeated, reaching for the towel. "Yes, darling, we can play."

"You sure?" I teased, starting to stand up and taking the towel out of his reach. "You sure you don't wanna get some more sleep?"

"No, I'm up, I'm up," he insisted, pouting as he sat up a little, tearing the blanket away from himself. "I wanna play."