Touched

Eight, Persistence

'in this life, heartbreak is casual'

The empty pit in my stomach is gnawing at my resistance, it's been days since Rhydian told me about his theory and still the emptiness of his confession has pulled at my heart no matter how much I try and pretend it doesn't hurt. I wanted an answer as much as the next person, but I never thought it possible that I could be someone that hurt people the way they think I will, but I suppose you never know what someone is capable of until it's too late.

They're just trying to eradicate the source before it's happens, not that they have much to worry about now, I would rather die than do it too so I'm sure that will make their plan easier.

A crazy story with a tiny chance to being true, but I know there is truth there, in there worry because if I was them, I would worry about what I'm capable of as well. I'm not saying I think I'm some secret witch, but my body reacts to danger in a strange way, however, not once have I ever felt an inkling of vengeance course through my veins, these people have saved me multiple times, what reason would I have to hurt them?

I must smell horrible, I have barely moved, a severe lack of water means not many trips to the bathroom, Rhydian brings me three meals a day, trying to convince me to eat but I can't bring myself too. I want out of here and eating will not help me achieve that. Maybe they'll get tired of my behaviour and let me go; maybe they'll kill me, at this point I don't care.

I can't care anymore if it just means I will lose things, I have always tried to believe that it is worth it and it helped me get past my Mum's death, having that belief that caring isn't worthless but something about this situation has crushed me more.

"At least drink something" Rhydian coaxes, he's sitting on the side of the bed brushing the mattered blonde hair out of my face, but my eyes don't move from the wall I'm faced at. I'm glad Selena has stopped sitting there looking up at me, so now I can open my eyes.
"Evelyn please"

I gaze at him slowly, nodding briefly before he moves me to sit up. I never move my eyes from his face, if I do, I will be faced with the solemn appearances of Selena and Kyle; that would surely break me. My exhaustion has morphed to weakness and my depression leaves me with no desire to move, if I had a desire to move or talk then I would have found a new room to move too when I woke up the morning after.

It took them the full day to realise I had no desire to talk to them or even move, they weren't there for breakfast or lunch, but had it delivered to the room. It was so hard to pretend that the worry I saw when they got back to see the food still sitting outside the door, didn't split me further, but it did.

They just kept asking me questions, trying to get me to answer their questions or focus on their faces, pleading words of forgiveness that they were desperate for me to listen too. I couldn't believe them and truthfully, I still can't, the possibility that they are just saying it because they feel bad is too plausible.

When I made no move to get up for dinner or eat what they got me for dinner Kyle had rushed from the room to go and get Rhydian, adamant that he could do something to fix me, or at least tell them what was wrong with me.

Perhaps I was sick, and he would have the medicine to make me feel better, give me the energy to talk to them and describe what I was feeling, after a couple of minutes of prodding a look of recognition crossed Rhydian's face. His features falling as he sighed, cursing lowly to himself before turning to explain to them what he thinks had happened.

He wasn't wrong, I have just shut down. I can't even tell if it was intentional because despite everything that has happened in these walls their betrayal is what has hurt me the most, they were angry at first until they realised the part, they played in it all. I felt guilty for upsetting them so much at first, Selena cried so hard, curling into my back and staying there for a day.