Darkiplier X Reader X Markipler A Darkness In The Light

Love, Lust, and Loss

Love, a word that I was slowly getting familiar with over the last week. The cuts on my chest and arms were healing nicely, now only scabs that could easily be passed off as a freak accident with the cat. I ran my finger slowly down the one on my chest, gazing back at the reflection in the mirror before snapping back to reality and slipping on my shirt. I had tried my best to push the thoughts of last week's events out of my head, but something like that was not easily forgotten. Even so my relationship with mark had gotten even stronger. From midday coffee dates to him coming over durning the night to watch a movie and spoil the cat. But one thing always remained the same, the look of sadness in his eyes when he stared at me. I could tell he was still struggling to forgive himself for what he had done.. My body fell limply down onto the couch, my mind starting to wander off again. I could still feel the burning pain of the clean cut across my arm. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts away, reaching for my tennis shoes and slipping them on as the cat jumped softly onto my lap. Using her head to press against my hand, pleading me to stroke under her chin. Chucking I scratched her for a second before setting her on the cushion beside me. "I'll be back i promise" plucking a water out from the fridge I set out for an evening run to clear my head.

.    .    .    .    .

Sweat poured down my forehead and cheeks as I stopped to catch my breath, panting heavily while using my shirt to wipe my face. Plopping down on the park bench I threw my head back as my breathing finally slowed. The blue sky slowly turned a crimson red above me as the sun lowered behind the distant trees and the moon slowly rose to illuminate the darkness of night. I couldn't pull my gaze away from the reddish orange full harvest moon hanging low in the darkening sky. The stars slowly started coming up in pin pricks, dusting the night like white paint splatters. Even though I studied the sky every night it still never struggled to take my breath away. My thoughts wandered to places of my mind I had blocked out for years, thinking about the friends I had lost back home. Even though the years had somewhat eased the pain of my heart it would never remove the amazing memories of them in my mind. The thoughts of them brought back pains deep in my soul, a strong longing for their company for just one more night. Even another hour would be enough for me. But no matter how I yearned to hear their laughter once again it would never come. Back home my circle of friends was small, but with it being so small we all cared for each other more than anyone could imagine. And when levi started fooling around with pills it wasn't long before we could all  tell. But by then it was too late, no matter how hard we tried to convince him to stop it would just go in one ear and out the other. Despite this it didn't change our friendship and we all often got together just to talk and have fun. And when neither me, Kane, Mikey, or Lilly had heard from him for a few days, we decided to head over to his place to check on him. That's when we found him.. laying on the living room floor in a puddle of vomit. Lips blue, body limp, and green eyes lifeless. That image would never leave my mind, even now I could see it as clearly as that day. In just a short few months, two more of my friends would end their life. We were all trying to cope with Levi's death in our own ways and had slowly started drifting apart from each other. The texts we all used to send to each other dwindle to weekly check ups to make sure we were okay. We didn't know Mikey was having as hard of a time as he was. Just 2 months after Levi's death Mikey shot himself in his room as his mother was coming in from the grocery store. At Levi's funeral Lilly kept herself together as best as she could manage. But now, the once sweet and enthusiastic girl had completely lost it. The deep soul crushing wails she let out as she cried still rang in my ears. They had been friends since before elementary school, their mothers had known each other well and came over to each other's house quite often. Three weeks after Mikey's funeral they found her on the river side below the old train track bridge. After that our circle was shattered. No one took the time to ask each other how they were doing. And the close friendship that me and Kane had from being two houses down from each other was no more, we each stopped going outside. And that's where my obsession with gaming began. Even though none of us talked anymore thoughts of my old friends would occasionally run across my brain. And I hoped all of them were doing well and the ones that were no longer with us had found their peace.. the park lights started flickering on around me and I pulled myself to my feet with as sigh. I looked up at the night sky one more time, smiling before starting the walk home.

.      .      .       .

I finally dragged my aching legs past my front door, it had been months since I ran like that and my body was the proof. Slumping down in my gaming chair i turned on my desktop, planing to finish editing a video before uploading it tomorrow morning. That's when the familiar sound of a message notification sounded through the speaker and a profile picture icon appeared on the side of the screen. My heart stopped as the name 'Kane Black' appeared.

*Marks p.o.v*
One week later

Lust, the feeling that consumed me everytime I was around y/n. But how could I allow myself to feel like that after what I did to her... I didn't deserve to enjoy her company, have the pleasure of feeling her body. I knew this but yet I couldn't keep myself away from her. I yearned for her with everything in me. It had been days since I had seen her. The fear of loosing myself to him again kept me away from her. My head laid in my hands as I massaged my eyes. Dark circles rested below them from consistent lack of sleep. That's when I heard it, a knock on y/n's door followed by a males voice. "y/n!! I'm so happy to see you it's been years. I missed you" I jumped up from the black leather couch and parted the blinds in my living room window.

Loss, for the first time since I met her, the thought of actually loosing her one day filled my head. There stood a taller guy with brown hair, a lit cigarette lazily hanging from his lips.

"Kane!! I can't believe you actually flew in to see me. It's been way to long." A wide smile stretched across her face as she threw her arms around his neck and embraced him. Rage bubbled up inside of me. The woman I loved was throwing her arms around another man right in front of my eyes. ' well would you look at that, looks like your little angel has flew her way into the arms of some other chump' "shut up!!" I yelled hatefully as my hands gripped at the side of my head, trying to get his voice to stop echoing through my brain. ' you're really going to let her slip away like that? After she's brought so much life back into your pathetic little life?... You know I could get rid of him. Make it to where he's never seen by any living thing in this world ever again. ' I pushed my hands harder against my ears, but it was useless, the voice was still clear as day. "No.. h-he's probably just a friend. And even if he isn't I have no right to butt in.. I can't expect her to want me after what Ive done to her". Insane laughter broke the silence before going quiet again. ' you might be willing to let her slip through your fingers mark but I've taken quite a liking to her and I'm not planning on letting that little dime go anytime soon. The look of pain on her face is just absolutely to delicious to let go of.'