My Tears Used To Drown Me, But They Helped Me Swim...

Chapter 1 - My Story

I'm Star, I'm 15 years old, and this is my story.

I'm stood by the sink with my razor, dried blood on my arm. I'm shaking and crying, wondering what they would think. My phone starts to ring and I stare at the caller ID. It's Dan.

"They" are Dan Howell and Phil Lester, better known as DanIsNotOnFire and AmazingPhil. We met 2 years ago in London, when I saw Dan on the tube and I asked for a picture with him, and that's when Dan saw. God, that was a good day....

I pick up the phone,

"Hello" I whisper, shaking

"Star, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Dan says, his voice sounds worried

"I'm in the bathroom Dan, with my blade"

"Why? You've been clean for 5 months, what's happened?"

"I will tell you soon, just tell me when the next train to London is, I'm leaving this place" I say, trying not to collapse

"It's in an hour, shall I meet you at Liverpool Street Station?" Dan says, clearly distressed

"Please, see you in 4 hours"

I quickly hang up and run to my room, grabbing my sports bag and my backpack and filling them with clothes, 4 pairs of shoes, toiletries, my razor and my laptop. I grab my satchel and shove my make up bag in, my chargers, my purse with £100 in, my phone, my Kindle, my sunglasses, my asthma inhaler and my headphones.

I grab my keys and run out the door, still crying and shaking, wondering how I got into this mess.

The only people who know what's happened to me are Dan and Phil, and my best friends Ale and Jessie of course, the people I trust the most. Dan and Phil don't know everything about the past 2 years of my life. Just because they saw the scars.

So this is my story. The past 2 years, starting again, replaying on repeat in my mind...