23 - Goodbye

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Julie wished the sun wasn't shining

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Julie wished the sun wasn't shining. She would have preferred a cloudy, drizzling day to match the storm in her heart. The only reason she didn't feel numb was because she felt the warmth of Tim's hand in hers. She couldn't even focus on the people behind her, but she knew they were there. They were standing in the Grace Cemetery and the minister was talking about Kevin. She didn't understand half of what he said. Tim had taken care of the arrangements. Truthfully Julie wasn't sure she would have survived without Tim and his family. She couldn't imagined surviving caring for Kevin if those two children hadn't fought at the movie theater.

She didn't need to look to see if her family was there because only her new family was. She called her mother to let her know her son had died and again her mother denied Kevin. Julie had thought she would finally come around and when she didn't, Julie felt her heart rip. "And you no longer have a daughter."

She was still a Dempsey but would be a Burke in a year. After the final prayer, she murmured, "Amen." Tim put his arm around her and they turned around to see the others that had gathered for Kevin. Tim's parents and Kate and Artie and Kate's parents were there. It surprised her to see the Walkers and Marge from work and another couple she didn't know. She bypassed them and walked over to Kevin and Danny's friends. Unlike what Tim had told her about Danny's funeral, she wanted them to know that they were welcome. One by one she hugged them and listened to how much they had loved her brother. She met several people from his job who cared about him, too.

Tim had asked Artie to arrange a luncheon at a local restaurant. She just wanted to curl up with Tim and hide from everyone. Tim led her to his car.

"Are you okay, Jules?"

She nodded. "I just want this day to be over."

She didn't know what the next day or the ones after would be like. She could go back to her old apartment or she could go rest in Maine, but she didn't want to be in Maine if Tim wasn't. He promised for vacation they would go alone. She was not sure if she wanted to go back to the cabin filled with memories of Kevin. Regardless, it was being torn down in the fall to build a real house on the site. Changes were happening all around her and she didn't know where she fit in.

Thankfully, she felt Tim at her side as she spoke to everyone at the restaurant. Some of Kevin's friends left while others lingered. Tim led her to the couple she didn't recognize.

"Jules, this is Dr. Jeffers and his wife."

She shook the doctor's hand, as he spoke words of condolence. His wife took Julie's hand in both of hers. "We are sorry this is how we finally get to meet you. Tim has been so worried about you. You must come by the house soon. We really have to go." She grimaced. "We have a new nanny and I'm a little nervous."

It surprised Julie they would leave a child with someone they didn't trust. "Why are you nervous?"

"Because she's a stranger and I'm leery of agencies, but we had no other option."

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