memories.

Close as Strangers.

xxx

Six weeks since I've been away
Now you're saying everything has changed
And I'm afraid that I might be losing you

"Christian," bulong niya. Kanina ko pa siya kwenekwentohan tungkol sa nangyari sa classroom namin pero wala. Hindi man lang siya umimik, ngayon lang.

"May sasabihin ako sayo," Ngumiti ako sa kanya. Para alam niyang nandito lang ako para sa kanya.

"Wag na nga..." sabi niya tapos ngumiti na ulit. Yung ngiting kanina pa niya tinatago. Pagkatapos nun hinatak na niya ako paalis.

And every night that we spent alone
Kills me thinking of you on your own
And I wish I was back home next to you

Days passed after that incident. Bigla nalang hindi niya nako pinansin. And it hurts to be honest. Tumagos sa puso ko yun. Pero wala. Tiniis ko lang siya. Sabi ko, 'Malay mo, may inaayos lang siya na labas nako dun.'

Pero I couldn't help to be worried. Kase usually, kapag mag-isa siya, parang ang lalim ng iniisip niya. It was as if she was deciding on something so important that everyday you would see her thniking. And I, absent-mindedly watched her from afar. Kahit gusto ko na siyang lapitan, sinasabi ko sa sarili ko, 'Wait for her. Just wait.'

Oh, every day you feel a little bit further away
And I don't know what to say

Pero inamin ko, kinakabahan na ako after a few days. Unti-unti na siyang lumalayo saken. Slowly, we drifted apart. Yung dating masigla naming usapan, yung dating kulitan namin pag nag-kakasalubong kami, lahat yun nawala. Everything changed. It was as if I didn't know her anymore.

Are we wasting time, talking on a broken line

Telling you I haven't seen your face in ages

I feel like we're as close as strangers
Won't give up, even though it hurts so much
Every night I'm losing you in a thousand faces
Now it feels we're as close as strangers

I vowed to myself that I would get her back. I would get my old friend back. But alas, siya pa mismo yung lumalayo. Whenever I initiated something, she quickly shut me out.

Sometimes, I thought I was just wasting my time. Minsan talaga inisip kong wala ng pag-asa friendship namin. But you just don't give up on friends. Even if it would take you years to get him/her back.

Pero kase yung tipong parang kinalimutan niya na 'ko dahil sa mga bago niyang kaibigan. Ang sakit lang nun. I never expected her to act this way. I thought I knew her. But I guess I thought wrong.

Late night calls and another text
Is this as good as we gonna get

Another time zone taking me away from you

"Christian," narinig 'kong tawag saken. I thought it was you. But it wasn't.

"Oh, Alice." sabi ko ng medyo matamlay.

"Have you heard?" sabi niya with a sad expression. May alam siya eh. But she just doesn't say it.

"About what?"

"Si Hillary na tska si James." And then it struck me. Kaya niya pala ako linalayuan.

Living dreams and fluorescent lights
While you and I running out of time
But you know that I'll always wait for you