memories.

Sandra's Lovelife.

"I'll be back"

For several years, I believed in those three words. Kahit anong tagal ko nang naghihintay, go lang ako ng go mahal ko kasi yung taong yan eh. Ewan ko ba kung ano mali sa akin, ang alam ko lang kaya kong tiisin na mag-hintay para sa kanya.

Kilala niyo ba kung sino tinutukoy ko ha? Syempre hinde, muntangs lang eh noh? Kung hindi niyo kilala edi flashback ako gusto niyo? Okay.

14 years old kami nun. As you all know, mahal ko siya diba? Nung time nay un hindi pa niya alam. All he knows was that I was his best friend. I was the one who he can run to when he had these big problems. Ako naman, martyr. Well, not exactly, kasi not long after I started to feel these strange things, he told me something that I didn't expect. Sinabi lang naman kasi niya 'I like you.'

Kayalang, not long after we became official, his parents decided to leave for the Philippines. Both of us were shocked to hear this news. Pero, alam namin na kailangan namin tong tangapin. Why? Because we knew what we have was real. Our relationship wasn't just like any other. We both knew how special we were for each other. It was one of those relationships. The relationship that's elusive.

We promised that we would always exchange letters and email every once in a while. Even though, naging ganyan yung Gawain namin for almost a year. Kaya lang, I didn't realize, napapalayo na kami sa isa't isa. Kahit kausap ko siya, it seems that, he wasn't the same person I knew he was here in America. You know that sort of things? Siguro nga, totoo yung quote na 'You're not the same person as you were over a year ago.'

Aaminin ko, I almost gave up. Pero, something inside me kept on telling me, na kahit anong magyari, handa akong maghintay para sa kanya.

Then, something unexpected came up. I didn't know how it happened pero, I just found myself na hindi na siya kinakausap. Believe me, I tried to call him again, pero no longer available na eh.

Simula nung araw nay yun, I swore to myself na mag mo-move on na ako. Para saan pa naman kasi yung lahat ng to, right?

At ayun, itong mga friends ko, napaka supportive. They would always arrange a blind date for me. Ganun na sila ka desperate para ako'y maka move on na. Kaya lang, wa-epek eh. My feelings won't go.

Instead of wasting my time going to those blind dates, I decided to tell my friends to just stop it. Anyway, nawawalan naman na sila ng ipapadate sa akin eh. Kulang nalang isama nila boyfriends nila.

Eto na yung part na gusto ko eh. One afternoon, I decided to have this coffee break. I spent almost the whole day in front of my text books for the upcoming exams eh. Graduating na kaya ayan.

After I gave my order, umupo na ako sa isang bakanteng chair sa may gilid. Actually, booth nga siya eh. Nandun lang ako, naghihintay ng tahimik, then something made me stand up. It was a very familiar laugh, a laugh I know belonged to him. Pagkatayo ko, I was right. Siya nga yung guy sa kabilang booth to my right. There was those twinkle in his eyes. Yung twinkle na nakikita ko kapag napapasaya ko siya. I was about to speak when I saw a girl. I was thinking it was just an ordinary friend of his, but one action made me think I was completely wrong, a kiss.

I guess he moved on already didn't he? Ni hindi ko nga alam na naka-balik na sila galing sa Philippines eh. Ang alam ko lang he was going to finish his studies there. Oh well, ganun naman kasi ang life eh, unfair. Atska, matagal ko nang tangap na siguro may nahanap na siyang iba. Isipin niyo 3 years kaming nagka-hiwalay?

Every since that day, I stopped dreaming of him coming back. I guess the only sign I needed was that simple kiss, for me to completely move on. Okay na nga ang lahat eh, namanage ko nang maging masaya without hoping that someone I know who will never come back, will burst out that door.