purgatory | g.d

four

song for chapter
chamber of reflections- Mac Demarco

[ Jade's Pov ]
-

Present time
October 27, 2020 1:45 pm

"What happened after?"

"We got food and you kinda crashed in your car afterward... So I left"

"Oh..."

"But somehow you found me again...in that same park with some of my frie. . . uh some people"

—

Flashback

June 16th, 2018 7:49 pm
"meeting again"

I have been laying here for god knows how long. Flat straight out on the ground as if I was finally shot dead. The sun beginning to set as the last bit of the warm breeze blows the dead grass and the trees.

The sun setting was honestly relaxing. I barely notice it. It could also be that I feel so heavy and my mind feels so fogged, that I have no choice but to look up and notice the mixture of colors. A small smile formed on my lips gazing at it. The voices of Julian, Dean, and Ronnie began to fade as I fell under.

For some people, it hits at only the beginning but for me, it was also the end. It's like a carousel, it begins to slow down but before stopping it starts right back up again for a final spin. Like a grand finale. I only smoked weed and a few cigs from time to time then I met Ronnie; who let me try molly. That was a fun experience. Then we met Dean and Julian who let us try speed. It was scary at first; It felt like I was driving fifty miles per second like I was gonna straight-up crash into a wall but in the end, it turned out good and I don't regret it one bit.

"Who are you?"

my head snapped seeing the kid from the other day. His name totally slipped my mind.

"I remember you!" I stood up dusting the dirt off my back; shuffling towards him while the others giggled at my state.

"Are you okay?" his voice sounds full of concern. It was kinda cute. A couple laughs passed my lips as I stared at him, confusion written on his. I sat down on the bench behind me

"Jade who's this kid?" Dean said.

"He's cool."

"Julian, Ronnie, Dean meet..." I looked at the boy hoping he'll help me out.

"Grayson"

"Right! Meet Grayson"

His face fell somewhat. Most likely because I didn't remember his name. He stood there resembling a lost puppy.

"Wanna Smoke Grayson or are you a pill kinda guy? Dean said obnoxiously. "Um, no thanks I'm fine" he voice full of discomfort.

"Um—uh, how are you?" He said. Dean snorted liked a pig as he asked, making my eyes roll slightly. He can be very childish. "I'm fine".

"So Grayson...are you in High School?" Ronnie asked.

"I just graduated" he responded. "How was it?" Grayson's brows furrowed gently. "How do you describe your high school time"

"Experience you dumb fuck" Dean blurted making Julian break out into laughter. She didn't deserve that. "Fuck off!" I yelled.

"It was rocky I guess" she nodded, listening. Ronnie dropped out halfway through her freshman year. As she told me, she couldn't handle it; the work, the people, the environment was too much for her. I told her she should have done online classes but she took the easier way out. Started getting high and here she is. Her father left when she was a child and her mother is a dopefiend who hangs on the boulevard. No real family, No job, and Barely a home. Just us.

"So you're a free man" the words left my lips.

"Not technically" Grayson laughed. "I wanted to talk to you," he said.

"That's our cue, we'll meet up later at Jordan's party right?" Julian said. I nodded. "I'll miss you" Ronnie embraced me with a hug before walking off with the others. She reminds me a lot of Anna. I miss her dearly but I will never let it bother me.

"What's up!"

"Why did you just leave" he sat down on the same bench from before. "I didn't wanna disturb your peace" I laughed. He stared with slight disappointment. "I thought we were friends," he said. My face was full of confusion. "You barely know me" the words left my lips ruder than expected. His face was filled with embarrassment.

"You didn't see the note I left?" He shook his head no.

"I don't remember what it said anyway." I laughed to myself.

"What did that guy...Dean mean by am I a pill kinda guy'"

"We popped some molly that's all. You don't have to worry about him" the bitterness began to appear in my tone.

"How much drugs do you do?" his tone was triggering.

"Woah, what are you? my dad. Sorry he died a couple of years back"

"I'm not... trying to," he said. "Good. Because I don't want you to got it?" My voice sounding very demanding as I began coming down. He nodded.