purgatory | g.d

eight

song for chapter
born to die - lana del ray

[Jade's Pov]

-

July 23rd, 2018 8:02 pm

"Your mom doesn't want you seeing me?" he shook his head. "She said all these awful things about you and I told her there weren't true at all," he said, sitting across from me.

"you stood up for me?"

"Yeah" my eyes widen.

"That's cute," I giggled from the weed, watching him scratch the back of his neck with a small grin.

"Why didn't you listen?" I held my head in my hands leaning over the center console. "Because... his voice trailed.

you're crazy beautiful, and somehow I find myself thinking about you every second of the day, I don't know what it is" he said barely above a whisper, pushing a strand of my dark hair out of my face. the treatment was foreign to me, in a way I felt cared for?

it took me a minute to comprehend the fact that he was leaning in, trying to kiss me. I shot up before he did, startling him and myself.

I chugged my bottle of water, suddenly having a dry mouth. " Not what I intended," he said, sounding embarrassed.

it was a bit of tension, both of our highs being blown.

"I need a cigarette," I said, jumping out the car. I walked to the back of the car, taking out a loosey I saved. I light it inhaling the toxins. My mind felt discombobulated. One reason because I don't even want to be bothered with him, Another because of his simple compliment.

I heard the door slamming, seeing Grayson appear. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?"

"You said you only smoke cigarettes when you're nervous," he said, quoting my past words. I forgot I even said that.

" I'm sorry you get scared and I'm sorry about whatever happened to you, Jade. I may not know a lot about you but I know that your past doesn't define you and that you are good." He said so sure of himself.

But It doesn't mean they're true.

he was saying the sweetest things I ever heard. I stood there with complete confusion on how to react to him, I was zoning in and out.

"But I'm not sorry for this," he said before pressing his lips against mind. I didn't feel any emotion. It took me a whole minute to even kiss back. The only thing I felt was lust and the feeling of being shocked.

Sure Grayson was attractive, but I didn't wanna use him for sex.

I pushed him away, "I can't." I said, feeling a bit guilty that I even let him go that far. He held a chaotic look. He was clearly pissed off.

"you're 17," I said, thinking of the first thing that came to my head. "So if I wasn't would you turn me down then?" He stood there desperate. I said nothing, just a blank look on my face. What did he really expect from me?

He sucked his teeth. "find your own way home, I doubt you'll tell me your address anyway." he said walking back to his car, leaving me there.

lol hi