purgatory | g.d

twelve

song for chapter
a reason- alicks

[Jade's Pov"]

-

January 27th, 2019 2:41 am
"no one again"

"you called me for a reason"

"I just wanted to see you." he murmured. "You couldn't wait till the morning, you had me climb up a sheet." he laughed softly. "I pulled you up though."

"I still had to use some upper body strength though." I nudged his shoulder.

I got up walking towards his door. "Uh where you're going?" he said, his voice reading almost scaring me.

"chill out," I said, grabbing the sheet he used to pull me up; stuffing it under the door to block off the smell. I walked back grabbing papers and a container out of my jacket pocket. I held it up like a grand prize sitting back on his bed beginning to roll up.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he said.

"You never smoked in here before, or you're brother?" I asked. He shook his head, looking down. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned him.

Even from the small block of my thigh, I could see him observing me.

I glanced at him, before sealing the blunt, watching him cut his eyes.

"Open the window, it'll help the airflow." He nodded doing so. I pulled my lighter out, clicking it watching the flame begin to burn my masterpiece.

I puffed it a few times, tasting the herb on my tongue and letting the clouds escape past my lips. I offered him and he accepted, following my actions before pasting it back. The energy was relaxing and I enjoyed being in his company.

"When did you first start getting high," he asked. I hesitated.

"Fifteen."

He shook his head. "Who introduced you or was it like an accident," he said confused.

" I was in tenth grade. I hated everything, school, my foster family, being alive. Anything you could think of. I felt dead inside and one day I was skipping class, crying in the bathroom. This girl came in and she heard me...and she comforted me, then she told me to meet her after school and I thought... what do I have to lose. So I went and I met her boyfriend who was maybe twenty, and a couple of his friends. Even some Seniors that I saw around. We all went to the park and got super high and I just remember feeling a small light enlighten inside me and I loved it so much." I laughed thinking of the memory.

"It became a weekly thing, we all met up and smoked. I built a bond with some of them especially the girl from the bathroom. Her name was Maya by the way and I found out she was a senior. She became one of my closest friends. I loved her. Eventually, the group started breaking up and falling apart. So did she." I sighed.

" One day I was waiting for her. We were gonna hang out, smoke just chill. She never showed up, then she Stopped answering my text and calls. Stop showing up to school. So I went to her house." I paused

"Found out she killed herself. Her body was found in the park. Where she said she spent her happiest moments. Although her boyfriend was arrested shortly after no one knew why but I have my theory. He went nuts, started doing coke she told me. He took her away from me and I had no one...again."

His face looked heartbroken at my words.

"She didn't even graduate or go after her dreams. She had so many." I giggled softly.

I glanced at him. "Part of the reason I go to the park so much because I somewhat feel closer to her," I said. I hope she's happy and at peace finally.

I laid down looking at his ceiling.

"I dropped out the year after because she got me through that one, even though I practically failed every class. Besides music. I loved music" I added.

"Shit became too much and I just stopped going and I got emancipated at seventeen," I said.

"you been living like this for two years?" He asked.

"Almost three, " I said, feeling a buzz and a smile on my face forming.

"Was it hard?"

"Yeah. It was hard getting a job because I never graduated. I was sleeping on the streets or staying in shelters. I made friends but they eventually started dying or trying to get better. But I never was bad as them. Then I met Ronnie who was in a similar situation as me. Her grandma told me I could stay with them as long as I found a way to contribute and I did and I found a way to make money and still have leftovers for weed. I even built a relationship with her but just like everyone. She died."

I felt a lump in my throat saying that. She treated me like her own and then left.

He leaned down, holding himself up with his elbow. "I'm so sorry," he said, already seeing it coming.

I glanced at him with a forced smile, before continuing to look at the ceiling.