𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧

『dangerous』

and as I sit here, I can't help but
think of one boy in particular who
will never leave my mind, until I
no longer have a mind.
even when I die, he will be with
me, and I know this is true.
he sings between the autumn
leaves falling from the oak trees
in the forests of my dreams.
a perfectly broken boy
filled with ideas and melodies
that never really took flight.
overflowing with words of love
and of romance, and of the
future when we might see
lace in a winter flurry.
but I am convinced at some
point he will become
a distant memory like those
before him, who could not hang
on. they could not hold me for
long enough.
however, there is something
he does that no one else ever
could. and this is why he will
forever be in my heart and
traced into my soul.
he looks at me, like I am the only
girl in the entire room.
he stares at me like I am something
that is beautiful.
he smiles at me as though
I am the reason he smiles.
he laughs at my remarks like they
hold some kind of hilarious
punch line.
and he cares so much.
he doesn't leave me thinking twice.
but everyone else just walks past
me and stares straight through me.
and everyone else looks at me as though
I'm in the wrong place and as though
I have have something in my hair.
but he looks at me as though I am
the entire world. and he stops
and he talks to me and the entire
world is silent and I don't care
who shoves past me to get away
from the realness of the situation.
he talks and spring is jealous of him.
he looks at my eyes and then down
at my lips, which are still fresh
with whispered words of summer.
he always seems like he's interested.
and he'll never know that when he
talks to the breeze, I am jealous.
or how he caresses Venus as though
she is more perfect than the sky.
and he'll never know that seeing him
puts such a ridiculous smile on my face.
I am in a daydream whenever I see
him look into my eyes as though
he's searching for a hint of something.
he never ceases to show me the
harmonies of days we talked most
or the melodies of the moments we
remember the least.
I love how he lets me mess with his
beautiful hair.
it's odd how he'll never know just
how often I think about how soft
that hair is. And how I could braid it
if he'd sit still for 15 minutes.
nobody knows just how hard it is
to forget the way he smells.
like he's home, and his scent
never changes. it always makes me
want to hug him and never let go.
it always makes me want to
lay my head on his shoulder and
listen to the music of this night
as though it is all we have.
I am broken of my thoughts when
he places a hand on my leg.
I immediately look up into his
determined eyes. He smiles at me
and I realize
that he's never going to understand
just how much he means to me.

august 28th, 2019