Im lossing a friend (and posibly myself)

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Ok so my friend "rubert"(nickname for Travis) told us that he will be moving in a month which made me sad because I had a cruse on him and sometimes when I cruse on people I tend to do things that make them uncomfortable such as touching them um telling them some weird things exedra but today as we were all siting at our table he dropped the bomb now I usually take this info well like "oh we'll at least he will tell the world about us" but with rubert it just made me want to cry and I did now I don't mean to make him feel bad but I did cry because he was as much of importance to the group as Dylan and that's really saying something because I almost never comparing people to Dylan it just struck me in a place I didn't know could hurt the news you could say broke me.

The next day I tried to make the best of what time we had left it didn't work with each thing I pushed him farther away and I broke more and more of course I never told my friends because a lot of them like rubert too and they wouldn't care if I was hurting because of his departure so I decided to do the mature thing and leave him alone because I knew he liked someone else it was plain as day so I backed off and told him that I would not be a stalker anymore that I'm out of the picture but what saddens me the most is that he doesn't trust me anymore,I guess I can't blame him what guy or girl would ever want me besides people on the internet. people take one look at me and think (a) I'm a monster (b) I'm a nerd or (c) I'm ugly and I've learned to excepted that I will never find love heck I don't even think I know what it is but what u do know is everything is better with out me

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