Hopes and Fears

fourteen // Anne's birthday surprise

"It seems that life surely ends after someone you love dies, but life marches on. You can choose to stay in that awful moment or you can march on too and live for them, for the life they lost."

...

The aftermath seemed like a dream.

An awful, sad dream that you'd wake from sweating and breathless, relieved you'd escaped into the dewy reality of morning. A dream that haunted you all day and hung onto your bones, reminding you to hug your loved ones and do good. But it wasn't a dream. It was all real.

Anne and Peggy were in shock, sobbing and clinging onto Kes as he got colder and the blood began to dry on his clothes. The officers had tried to help him apparently but aside from stemming the blood to give him some time they knew same as Gilbert there was no hope. They'd tried to remove the body but the girls couldn't let go, not yet. Gilbert sat there, blood on his hands and guilt weighing down his heavy heart.

January had felt like the carpet had been tugged from beneath her. It couldn't be real... she had been the one responsible for taking care of Kes and Peggy. She'd told them to stay back, to avoid the fight. They hadn't listened. Now he was gone, all because of her. She felt sick. January saw Peggy, so young and having lost so much. She should have been at Rosalie's farm. So should Kes. They both would have been safe there. She should never have brought them to Avonlea, not with a murderer and her gang on the loose. January thought about Scarlett and how she was going to jail. It didn't seem fair or right. She'd be alive, and Kes was dead. It made her angry.

Where was James? Where was he this whole time? She was angry at him too for leaving when she -- when they needed him. She knew he had fought with Scarlett and how he must have been shaken up but when their friend was dying where was he?

The Detective arranged transport for everyone and some people came to wrap up Kes for burial. Peggy didn't want to let go but Anne held her while she cried. Kes didn't deserve to stay lying there in the dirt. The persistent rain had finally stopped and the dark woods seemed ominously quiet. Almost like the silence had fallen for Kes, out of respect.

After Kes was taken, Peggy needed January and they held onto each other, almost afraid to let go. Diana held Anne while she cried and before she left she hugged January and Peggy goodbye. Friends of Anne were friends of hers and she'd heard of their selfless acts in the clearing. It broke her heart to know Kes had died for it, so young. Before she left, Diana pulled Jerry to one side.

"Jerry, please make sure Anne and Gil get home safely... I'm worried for them. They're both wrecks after tonight. I cannot stay any longer or my Father will surely send out search parties."

"Of course. You can count on me." Jerry nodded sincerely.

"I know. Thank you." Diana squeezed his hand.

As her Father's men drove her back to the estate and she dreaded what her parents would think of it all. Diana knew it would all be common news tomorrow morning. She'd face that when it came.

Jerry was watchful, scanning the trees with a paranoid expression until the carriages arrived. The group had been silent in mourning, growing stiff as they'd all been sat on the forest floor. As the carriages pulled up they stirred from their daze and rose to leave. Anne wanted to go home to Green Gables, but she didn't want to leave Gilbert or her friends alone. She didn't want to be alone either. Looking up at Gilbert he saw all this in her bloodshot eyes, reading them like a book.

"Stay with me." Anne begged in a whisper.

"I will." He said, knowing he'd be the one to explain it all to Marilla when they reached Green Gables.