The Bet//roadtrip bxb

8//the panic attack

Brook and Jack made their way to the ice cream shop and found Rye and Andy inside.

"What's the problem? And why did we meet in an ice cream shop?" Brook questioned, excited but also slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, what's up?" Jack said, mostly just anxious.

"We have news!" Rye squealed excitedly. What was with people and 'news' today?

"But we have to wait for Sonny to show up to tell you guys," Andy told them.

Shit. They were probably dating. That was obviously their news. Of course it was. Rye may not have been the best in school, but he could easily get anyone he wanted to date him. Including Andy.

The other three boys were engaged in having a conversation together, but Jack wasn't involved, or really even listening. He was too busy listening to his thoughts.

The other boys moved to a table, and Jack slowly followed, still not entirely paying attention.

Maybe this was good. It probably was. That meant Andy was taken. He couldn't have him. He could get over his feelings. He wasn't going to steal Rye's boyfriend. That's got to be the number one rule in a friendship, right? Not to mention, all he really wanted was for Andy to be happy. This was obviously how that happened. Obviously. His best friend and crush were both happy, and he couldn't let his stupid feelings get in the way of that.

Jack didn't realize that he was getting so lost in his thoughts until a hand stilled his bouncing knee. He looked down to see Andy's small hand.

"Breathe," Andy whispered, only loud enough for Jack to hear. None of the other boys had caught on to what was happening, and he intended for it to stay that way. Jack nodded, and tried to normalize his breath, which had started to get faster.

Andy's hand on his leg wasn't helping all that much. It meant he cared, but not more than a friend. Obviously. This whole bet thing really wasn't a good idea. Jack wouldn't have as much internal conflict about Andy if he and Rye's relationship wasn't predetermined. Maybe Jack would actually have a chance with him.

God, why did he have to be such an idiot? Why the hell did he have to bet Rye? What the fuck was that for? What good did it do? Why was he such a fucking idiot sometimes?

"I need to go to the bathroom," Jack said realizing he was getting himself worked up again.

He didn't stop to listen or see what anyone's responses were, he just stood up and made his way to the bathroom as quickly as he could. He didn't even go into a stall, just sat on the bathroom floor. He wasn't really sure how his legs had carried him this far, because as soon as he'd made it to the bathroom, he collapsed onto the floor. His mind kept running away from him. He couldn't stop it, and he couldn't control it. All he could think of was Andy. Andy and Rye. Andy and Rye holding hands. Andy and Rye holding hands and cuddling. Andy and Rye holding hands and cuddling while kissing each other. Andy and Rye holding hands and cuddling while kissing each other, but it leading to more. He knew he needed to stop. But he couldn't. It just wouldn't stop. It kept going, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. He couldn't breathe. The air wasn't making it to his lungs. He was breathing in, but nothing was coming with it. There was no oxygen in his lungs. Well, he knew there was, but it didn't feel like there was. He knew he was panicking. He knew where this was headed; a panic attack. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop it. His thoughts kept spiraling, and soon it wasn't even about Rye and Andy anymore. It wasn't only Andy who found someone better than Jack. Soon he wouldn't even want to be friends with him anymore. Then Rye would probably leave Jack alone, too. Brook would have no reason to stay, since he'd only just met Jack, and Sonny had never really liked him anyways. Jack would be alone for good. No friends at all. He would be alone, and probably forever. No. That wasn't true.  He knew it wasn't, but he couldn't help thinking it. Stupid anxiety. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Breathe, Jack, he thought. He could calm himself down. In, out. In, out. He could do this. He could. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. He was starting to feel a little better. There was some sort of voice in his head, but it wasn't his own. He couldn't tell whose it was, but it was helping. Breathe, Jack, it said. It's okay, Jack. Everything is fine. Just breathe. And eventually it did help Jack did calm down, after a long while.

He realized that something was squeezing his hands. He looked down to see someone else's small hands holding his. He looked up to see Andy. That's who the voice in his head was. Only, it apparently wasn't in his head.

"Thanks, And," Jack breathed out.

"Hey, it's okay, I get them, too. I get it," Andy said, reassuringly.

"Really?" Jack asked, surprised that he wasn't the only one.

"Yes, really," Andy smiled. "Are you okay, now?"

"I think?" Jack answered, but it ended up being more of a question.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," Jack answered. "Basically, I like this person, and they like someone else. I just couldn't get the thoughts of the two of them out of my head. And I panicked."

Andy sighed. "I get that," he said. "I've definitely been through that before."

"How do you get over it?" Jack asked. Maybe It wasn't the best idea to ask your crush how to get over your crush, but it was better than anything else he was getting right now.

"I don't really know. Crushes end, right? I think you just have to let it run its course," Andy told him.

"And, maybe, eventually, your crush will open their eyes and see what they're missing. You're freaking Jack Duff, for God's sake," Andy added, giving Jack a huge grin.

Despite his efforts, Andy's words only made Jack hurt more. But he saw how much Andy had tried, and gave him his most convincing smile back. Andy could almost see through it, almost, but decided to let it go.

"Wanna go back?" Andy asked, offering his hand out to Jack.

"Yeah," Jack smiled. There was one word going through his head, though. One that Andy had said. Maybe.

1113 words
sorry for the giant mega paragraph, but I really felt like it showed what it's like to have a panic attack. ALSO, I stayed up way too late last night and ended up finishing writing this, so updates will probably be a lot more frequent now!
~Soph