Work of Art || Luwoo

38

~~Jungwoo~~

My life has felt so slow without Lucas these past few days. I haven't left my house much, only for work. And even then, I need to drag myself from my bed. It isn't until Lucas is out of my life that I realize how much he changed me. In a good way. I was broken out of my shell, taught how to have fun. How to live. I've replayed our scene at the coffee shop in my head so many times that just the thought of that place makes me dizzy. I didn't want to hurt him, but he's the first person to ever care for me, to ever make me feel like I was enough. I didn't want to leave the cafe in such a hurry, either, but I could feel the burn behind my eyes, threatening to spill over and I couldn't let him see the tears after how hurt I already looked. Now he's gone.
Haechan tried to call me a few days ago. I don't know the exact date, I've lost track of time. I picked up the phone the first few times, but when I said hello, he went straight to convincing me to get out of the house. He's relentless with his calling, my phone keeps buzzing, flashing his number while I'm trying to binge watch movies. I let the phone ring until the call ends. Now that I think of it, he hasn't called in a few hours.

If I'm quiet enough, I can hear the wires in the elevator or water rushing through pipes in the ceiling. I try to focus on those noises whenever I catch my mind trailing to Him, but sometimes it's just too hard. I decide that I'll sleep it off and curl under my sheets. They're already warm from the hours of me lying here. I can feel my mind start to calm and my breathing slows. A pair of knuckles hit my door quietly. Haechan. It must be.

I try to ignore the sounds. He should've gotten the hint that I don't want to talk after the amount of calls I've ignored.
"Jungwoo?" My body freezes. "You in there?" The voice is softer than I've ever heard it and truthfully, it scares me a little. I choose not to move at first. I want to see what happens.
"I don't know if you're in there but if you are, I hope you just give me another chance." I almost scoff, he's the one who sent me that text. "Alex took my phone that night and when I got it back I noticed she texted you. I didn't have my phone when we met at that cafe and I didn't know what to tell you." I have to admit that I feel a small pang of guilt hit my stomach. I still decide not to move.
"I'm so sorry Jungwoo, I..." And then I hear fabric slide down the door.
I feel that familiar sting behind my eyes. I don't want to cry. Not over this.
"I should've just let Haechan help. Sicheng works with Mark and he offered to help me out so many times. I really care about you Woo, and I wanted to do this on my own." He says my nickname and it brakes my heart. I don't even care that he knows Haechan.
Before I even realize what I'm doing, I've ripped off my sheets and I'm running down my hallway.

My hands are shaking and my fingers fumble over the lock on the door. The metal gears click together and I can't pull the door open quick enough. I just want to pick him up off the ground and reassure him.

He's heavier than I can manage to lift so when I grab beneath his armpits I stumble into him. He grabs my hands and twists himself around so we're facing each other. I look at his eyes and I feel the sorrow that's behind them. They usually shine such a beautiful green, but now they lack that light.
"Lucas" I start to apologize for everything I've done the past few days but my voice sticks in my throat and I'm swallowing air. I don't know what to say and Lucas doesn't say anything either. Instead, he pulls me against him stronger than I've ever felt him hold me before. I'm already struggling to breath and when he kisses me, I gasp against his warm lips. I surprise myself by matching his strength and it no longer feels like I have to breath. Not with Lucas holding me in this moment.
I push my hands through his hair and hold the back of his head like I always do. It feels so nice to hold him again. I can feel the heat of Lucas' hands through my shirt. They roam my back, shoulders, neck and every other place he can reach. I don't want this to end.
We move so that I'm trapped against the wall. Our legs, stomachs and mouths are pressed together. I want to be as close to him as possible. I continue to kiss him, but he starts to pull away. I think that he hasn't forgiven me, but he tilts my chin and kisses my jawline, marking my neck and collar bone.
He pulls at the buttons of my shirt and I slip my hands beneath his. His skin is hot and I'm surprised that I can feel him shaking, too. He always looks so confident. He's letting me into one of the most vulnerable parts of his world.
I'm becoming impatient, fearing that my heart will burst from my body if I wait any longer, so I pull his shirt over his head and he rips mine open. I'm still clinging to him when he grabs my thighs and carries me to my room. I'm laid on my back and his hands slide beneath the waistband of my joggers. I pull at his zippers and that is the moment that I realize how much I care about this man, and realize how much he cares about me. I'm ready to share my darkest secrets, let him hear my darkest thoughts. And that is exactly what I do.