Ms Gerard {K.M.}

chapter 11

A few weeks later ...

Samia's POV

I never experienced grief this bad before. It all started when I lost my mother, my world and my hero. It sneaked up on me quietly and took me under its arms in an instant. My own father raped and killed my mother. Hes not worth that title, he's worth less than the mud on the bottom of my shoes

I remember the day after, every memory played like a song in my head, repeating itself for what seemed like forever. I was lost mostly because I had lost a big part of me, and I watched front row as she was lynched, used as a message to those who dared cross him. I couldn't get that part back and I wanted it so bad as my life depended on it but it was all gone, vanished in thin air. I can't say it got better but it did get easier. At first, I thought grief was something bad that takes you ten feet under but soon I learned that it was just the price we had to pay for loving someone.

So, on the anniversary of her death,.Marcel and I kept quiet. Like every year, we pretended it never happened and the Mikaelsons had no clue about it. All until today...

Dinner was served, so we sat down Klaus was on my left, Rebekah in my right, Elijah across from me with marcel on his right.

It was almost like a self soothing habit for me to reach up and play with the golden coin necklace around my neck.

Only this time, it wasn't there.

You can feel it, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of your stomach. I cannot concentrate on anything else that I'm doing. The next step is my heart starting to beat harder and faster, adrenaline levels rise, my brain starts to fire out negative thoughts like a machine gun.

Was it stolen?

Did I lose it?

As sweat starts to happen all over the body. It feels like my skin has another hot skin on the outside, like a bin bag, it moves over my body and never releases. The negative thoughts keep coming like waves on rocks.

"Mia?"

"Samia?"

The voices felt distant.

I abruptly stand, everyone on the dinner table stared at me in concern a I started pacing or moving around irrationally.  My hand on my forehead as I thought of the possibilities.

The arguments in my head get so fast and so disturbing that my brain shuts down my body. The sweat has completely covered my body and my heart feels like it's going to explode.

"Samia?!" Marcel's voice stops me, I look at him. "What's wrong?" They're all just sitting, just staring at me.

"My necklace." I gulp,
"I  um- I lost my necklace." This sentence came out as a whisper, but they're all vampires, they can hear.

"Uhm, I guess the clasp must have broken." I say.

"The little gold coin thingy? Were you wearing it today?" Rebekah asks.

"I wear it every day!" I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I was stressed,

maybe it was this specific day that was why I was panicking so much, why my emotions were all over the place.

"Stay calm. Re-trace your steps." Elijah attempts to help.

"I've been all over. The house, back yard..." i put both my hands on the chair and hold just incase my legs gave out.

"When was the last time you seen it?" Klaus asks.

"Um, it was the afternoon, I think." My voice break and I tried as hard as I could to stop my eyes from watering. I hated crying.

One of the chefs walked in the dining room, the sight of me stood up raised her eyebrows, "What's going on?" She asks.

"Samia misplaced her necklace." Rebekah says.

"I didnt misplace it, I lost it! I'm stupid!" My emotions are all over the place and it was strange for me to raise my voice to anyone. I could tell everyone was beyond confused at why this necklace was so important and why I was beating myself up over losing it.

"Samia, I'm sorry. But if you lost it we can just replace it." Elijah says.

"Please dont!! ... Just leave me alone, please." I quickly walked out, hoping no one followed me, I shut the door to my bedroom, atleast I thought I did.

I sat on the floor, my back against the bare wall, my knees to my chest and my head down. My eyes drip with tears. My walls, the walls that hold me up, make me strong just... collapse. Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops fall from my chin, drenching my shirt. Perhaps these tears will help wash the blood out. I press my head against the wall... baby blue, so innocent... I am anything but innocent. I'm trembling. I can't-can't stop. Even as I press my hand against the wall it shakes, it trembles. It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. I can't stop... I can't stop. Why can I not stop crying?

I stop the sobs to think, the only thing that's really worse than grief is guilt. And I'm feeling both. My eyes turn tot he sound of the door creaking open, the one I thought I shut.

Elijah. The last person i want to cry infront of is Elijah, the one who feels the weight of everyone else's problems.

I attempt to wipe away the guilty tears, but more kept flowing so I left it as it is. He walks towards me, a saddened look on his face.

Then he sat beside me, he brought his hand closer to me and opened it. There on his palm was my necklace.

I look at him, my eyes looking into his, a smile small on his face, he put the necklace in my palm.

"It was my mothers." I say, he nods, his face looked expressionless but I learnt to always look in his eyes, that way I could decipher what he was really feeling. His eyes held sympathy.

"And today is the anniversary of her death. 6 years ago today, my father lynched her, used her as some stupid sign. She's worth more than that."

He just sat and listened, how did he know that's exactly what I needed? Was it because it was something that he lacked?

"I spent so many years being so ... angry. At him, at myself, even at my mother for always being so brave." I sighed, the tears stopped but I knew it would start again soon.

There was a silence until he spoke up.

"You say you were angry at yourself, why?"

I look at him, hesitantly, a secret I've never told anyone. Not even Marcel.

"Because it was my fault. I ... befriended his son, Francis, and I didn't listen to my mother when she told me to stay away from him. I should've listened." The tears came back, this time Elijah pulled me into his arms and held me.

My brother held me as I cried for an hour. "She'll always be with us, honey."

A/n "my brother" aww I love Elijah and Samias sibling relationship ♡idk if I ever want to do chapters in the future anymore 😂😂

Do you think this 'Francis' will make an appearance?