The Human Angel

The Human Angel Chapter 12:

*********Chapter 12**********

"oh my gaud!" I cried staring at my ipod screen in shock. I had just deleted my long-prepared speech which I had been writing to make it as perfect as it can be! And I'm next to go up to present yet I'm here trying to rewrite again! Gritting my teeth as I type and tried to think what I should say, my heart was beating really fast that it almost deafen my ears listening to it. :: Oh why?! Why?! is it always like this??!!!!!:: I groaned in my heart frustrated. I feel like banging my fist on the table with anger about my carelessness. 

Then the dreadful 'thank you' from the previous student makes everything seems to stop for awhile. I was stunned, rooted to my track. :: Die! its a goner!:: I thought. My legs almost turn in jelly as I tried to force myself to walk. Holding on to the tables supporting my weight as I make my way to the front, I could feel myself shaking. I'm unprepared! Utterly unprepared! For now I feel like killing myself for being so stupid! Closing my eyes, I took a deep breathe before looking at the rest of the class. Every pair of eyes is staring at me waiting for me to start. And the intend eyes of my teacher looking at me asking me to start. 

"Hi everyone...I'm Ariel and I'm going to introduce you to the world of roleplaying forums where the fantasy of writers are." I begun my starting introduction trying to fix my gaze somewhere that hopefully will help my nervousness. I couldn't remember my speech well because its very last minute and had to look at it constantly. " Don't look at your speech Ariel" my teacher reminded me which makes me feels awkward. I forget everything when I'm nervous, how on earth am I going to say my speech smoothly without looking? 

" Let me explain roleplaying in a writer's way. Roleplaying is about a writer creates multiple of characters and have them act out the stories that he had in mind...." I went on trying not to be too obvious to show my nervousness. I tried to not shake too much in front of them but I couldn't help it. :: Azrael come on... they are just humans just humans:: I thought to myself trying to make the situation better. I try to avoid the gaze that the students gave me and decided to turn my focus to the teacher. " In roleplaying forums we try to make it as real as possible by giving our characters a face which was taken by celebrities. And we put the face of the celebrities on the signature side to make it appear in every post we make...." I continue on. 

" What? wait what do you mean? what signature side?" my teacher asked giving me the confused look. :: Oh shed.... I feel so stupid.:: I thought wanting to smack myself for it. Giving her a nervous smile hoping to ease myself with my uncomfortable. " erm well you know in the forum we have the signature side in our account? When we post something in the signature side it will appear in our post? The post had some lines below right..... and the signature is under that line.... so yea when we post the signature will appear in every post showing the face....." I explained trying to maintain my voice level since we don't have microphone. After the teacher give me an assuring nod that she understood already, I turn to look at my classmates. Oh damn that is the wrong move I took, immediately the expose feeling came right back to me.

My eyes scan around and saw Lucien sitting there with a smile which I couldn't tell if he is trying to assure me or is he smiling at my weakness? I move my hand slightly trying to look at my speech again, " don't look at your speech Ariel!" she reminded again this time sound annoyed at me.  Man.... gone case am I ? " In the forum there are many topics which are places for the characters to roleplay in. Erm.... the main board is PG while the password protected area is no rating...to give our writers more space of imaginary without limitation or restriction. In the password protected area only they could read....unless they give someone else their password...." I added feeling more and more nervous hoping that I could finish fast.  Babbling whatever information I could remember which was pretty much mess up and conclude it with the friends I had made being in forum and encourage them to join.