Hadal Zone

Chapter 4- Red Giant

Red Giant: The older stage of a star, when it starts to burn out.
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Catalyst's and Titanium's POV
Personal Entry- Catalyst, Elite Number 5

I'm going to skip the whole sickening 'Dear Diary' or whatever part because I'm not doing that. What, is my 'Diary' supposed to respond or something? No, and frankly, it shouldn't. These are my thoughts and my thoughts are only for me and whoever is smart enough to keep their mouth shut about them.

I'm going to cut straight to the point.

I'm restless.

I can't stop thinking about it. My nightmares have returned tenfold and more vivid and all I think about is how I could do it. How I want to do it. I could ruin everything but if I pull it off, it would be so worth it.

It could stop. No more nightmares, no more paranoia, nothing. Just me again. Maybe that would clear up my mind more.

I know I should be focusing on the project the boss assigned to me but honestly, I barely even took a look at it. How could Project Tithonus amount to this? Ti can take care of it, hell, the people running that facility can handle it. Besides, there's no telling it'll even work, I'm not sure what she was even hoping for.

I know I want to do it but I can't even start now. River isn't around. The house is empty, I've checked myself.

I'm just stuck and my mind is slowly getting more and more crowded with my own thoughts. I can't tell if anyone else has caught on yet but honestly, I wouldn't blame them if they managed to. I've lost my usual ability of being subtle.

However, I need to do this. I don't think I can stop myself at this point, I've made my choice now. I just need to hope that everything will go as planned.

Though more than anything, I want the dreams to stop.

I still dream of that night, even after all these years. A good chunk of my dreams as of late have been of it. The screaming, the pain- it just doesn't change.

Though sometimes, the nightmares are completely different. It just feels normal, like another day at the base but then I look through a window or into a mirror or even the smallest reflective object and I stop because there's nothing staring back at me. Everyone else has a reflection but me.

I don't know what it means.

I thought I was getting better.

I feel worse.

~C

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Report- Titanium, Elite Number Two

Urgent?: Y/N

Atom, you know I wouldn't label it urgent for just anything like Eta does. Read this as soon as you get it and take into account what I'm saying.

It's about Catalyst.

For one, he was supposed to accompany me over to start Project Tithonus but he refused to go, saying I and the researchers there could handle it. I did everything in my power, just short of dragging him all the way there to convince him but he wouldn't budge.

I'd write it off as lazy but he seems on edge. He was doing it again. Taking the only armchair pressed against the wall and kept glancing around as I was talking to him. He's trying to hide it but after all these years of working with him, I know what it looks like when he's paranoid.

It could be more withdrawals but those have been getting better and he hasn't had a drop in months now. I tried looking for potential triggers or just to see if it's his PTSD acting up again but it's hard to say, I'll have to ask Eta to know for sure.

It's worrying, Atom. His sleep schedule has been off all week now that I'm thinking about it. I'm ashamed that I didn't see it before but something has seriously set him off.

Being in a new base can be nerve wracking but Catalyst has never minded that in the past, it's only truly been Fusion and I who have been set off by it. Come to think of it, Eta and him did conduct the search around the new base. That was at the end of last week, so it could've been what started all this. Did anything set him off in the report he sent in?

Something had to have happened. Though Eta said it was nothing out of the ordinary when I asked him. Perhaps I should ask again.

He was doing so well too, I thought we were over this. He's been more snappy and uncooperative then he has been in months.

Do you think he's relapsing?

I am tearing my mind apart trying to think of what could've caused this to happen but I really don't know. We all only know pieces of what exactly caused him to get to where he is now, he's always been reluctant to share much more.

Do you think this has something to do with how he lost his right eye? That's what usually causes these episodes, it has to be.

We have to find the source, Atom. I worry what will happen if we don't take care of this quickly.

Perhaps I'm being too overprotective but I had to voice my thoughts.

Tread lightly, Atom. You know how he can be.

While I have your attention, I might as well tell you that Protect Tithonus is on track and testing is going well now that we finally have the proper equipment. I'll send a full report on all the details of how it's going so far but as far as continuing it, I see no foreseeable problems to come in the future from the testing alone.

Though I think you might need to dial down your ambitions. Achieving something like 'Eternal Life' or 'Cures to the most deadly diseases' seem more than just out of reach at the moment. Start small, if all goes well, then we can see about what exactly you want.

One last thing. I met those currently in charge of Lab B13-UNDG and I recommend you change them. I know that lab is understaffed and that they were the only qualified ones available but I don't trust them.

They seem too eager to please. Too ready to ignore your orders and cut corners to get results. Too interested in money and unsympathetic.

Letting them anywhere near Protect Tithonus worries me, especially since I'm not always going to be there to supervise them.

Start looking into replacements.

--Titanium, Signing Off

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A little later than I hoped but Chapter Four has been completed.

Wanted to do a little 'Report-esk' chapter much like the first one. There's only a few more and the rest will stick to a usual style of third person and not in reports.

Anyways, I hope y'all liked this! Comments are heavily appreciated and encouraged and I apologize for being late. Thank you for reading and goodbye!

—JustAnAtlantisWriter