Jomo Hankerson

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Michael was kissing my neck and I was out of control. I couldn't think straight and then I heard something faint that became louder each time. Beep! 'She's here..' I thought. Michael was about to take my gown when I pushed him back and stood up.

Suesie: No.. I will not let you win.... Not this time.

I walked past Michael, grabbed my stuff, and went to the bathroom to change. Michael sat on the bed and sighed. I came out with a bag under my arm and didn't mind Michael.

Michael: Wait a minute-.

Suesie: I don't have a minute.

I said cutting him off.

Michael: Fine but where are you going with that bag?

Suesie: Places that do not include you being there.

I said grabbing the door knob but Michael grabbed my hand.

Michael: Suzanne, start talking.

Suesie: Michael, you do not own me and do not need to know where I am every second of every single day!

Michael started talking after I said that he doesn't own me.

Michael: You're right, I don't own you. But you're my wife and I do deserve to know!

Suesie: No you don't! Give me one good reason, one good reason why you deserve to know!

Michael: I'll give you six. One, I am your husband. Two, you are my wife. Three, I care about you. Four, I Love You. Five, you are carrying our child. Six.. Six, your life is in danger.

Suesie: How in the hell is my life in danger?

Michael tightened his grip on me and then sighed as he loosened it. I heard a car beep again and I opened the door. I stopped at the top of the steps and looked down.

Suesie: Oh and sex will not make anything better..

I walked down the stairs and slammed the door behind me. I stood there in the rain and cried for a while. I wanted Michael so bad but I couldn't give in.. Not this time. I walked towards the car and got in. I looked up and saw Michael standing in our bedroom window looking at me as we pulled out of the driveway. Through the rain on the window, I saw his pain and it reflected from him to me. I looked down to avoid the pain any longer and then she spoke.

Rebbie: What is going on with you?

Suesie: Michael & I have been on bad terms lately..

Rebbie: But you were just fine yesterday.

Suesie: That was then, this is now. I just.. Need to get away from him.

Rebbie: Why?

Suesie: Because if I don't then he'll win.

She gave me a convoluted expression.

Rebbie: The heck are you talking about?

Suesie: You wouldn't understand..

Rebbie: Yeah, I bet.. But tell me anyway.

Suesie: Alright.. Every time Michael & I have an argument, he always wins.. I'm not letting him win this time because if I do then that'll show that I am weak against him.. But I assure you that I am strong. I don't think he'd last a day in my shoes..

Rebbie: Okay, what the heck are you talking about?

She said turning a corner. I was silent for a while but then I spoke.

Suesie: As a child, I was raised by my mother until her unexpected death. Then I went to live with a man who claimed to be my father.. We built a good relationship between us and then one night....

My voice started to crack at that point and my face got hot remembering my screams for help.

Suesie: And.. And then one night.. He disappears but he said that he'd be back just like my mother had said to me before she was murdered. He went to open the door and my cousin.... J-Jomo was there to greet him. My father saw he was unstable that night so he tried to calm him down but then I heard shouting and then he.. He pulled out a gun....

I heard the gunshots in my head going off and my head started pounding.

Suesie: He shot him! He shot my father and then came towards me and I asked 'Where's my daddy?' He picked me up and carried me to my room.. Then he sat me down on my bed.. I asked him again and I said 'Where's my father?' He just looked up at me and he put his hands.. on my thys as he moved them up and down. He said 'Daddy's with mommy now.' and I said 'But mommy's with God.'

I actually pronounced it 'But mommy's with G.. with God.' because I was crying.

Suesie: He nodded and then.. Then stroked my face and told me to lay down.. I laid down and he laid beside me. He gave me a kiss and then I fell asleep. I spent the next few years with him taking care of me until the day finally came.. I came into, what was now, his room and there he was.. On my father's bed naked and touching himself.. I couldn't turn away even though I wanted to but he saw me and called me over. I stood at the foot of his bed and looked down. He told me to climb up but I shook my head no. He told me to do the same thing again and again I said 'No.' He pulled me up there with him and laid me down....

I started to cry harder and grip the seat.

Suesie: He looked at me and spoke in a tone that I had never heard before.. H-he s-said 'Do you know how beautiful you are?' I sh-shook my head no after thinking a-about it.. H-he k-kissed me on my lips and it felt different this time. H-he was about to take off my pants but I tried to stop him.. He looked at me and shook his head. I looked scared and he said 'Don't be afraid, just relax.' I couldn't relax and he finally tied me to the bed.... 'What are you doing?' I screamed at him. He didn't mind me at all and took off my.... my clothes.. He climbed on top of me and.. He..

Rebbie: You don't have to tell me.. Please..

She said trying to calm me.. Turns out, she had been saying this all along trying to get me to stop but I was too deep into my memories to even think about my surroundings.

Suesie: He raped me! He hurt me down there and up here in my brain! I was his sex slave for the next five years! I was only nine when he raped me! Do you know what that does to a person? Having your innocence taken away at the age of nine! Nine! He killed my father when I was seven! He was the only family that I had left and he raped me!

I screamed. Rebbie didn't know what to do so she held me close as I tried to forget everything that kept coming back to haunt me. Rebbie brought me into the house and let me sleep with her in her bed. I fell asleep in her lap as she stroked my hair.

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