I'm In Love With My Killer

Hell House

I came home a few.. A few.. I can't even remember. Days or a week. I was in there for a few days before I came home, I know that much. Then the three weeks started. I'm not allowed to have sex, eat certain things or drive at the moment. Just rest, rest and more rest. I was carried into the house and I still can't speak. The good news is that I don't want to.. When Michael laid me down, I turned so that I couldn't see him. I couldn't face him at the moment. I've been like this for a long time. Michael would talk to me and have LaToya or Rebbie help me around the house since I refused to cooperate with him. The first day was horrible..

Michael: Come on baby, I'm taking you home.

We rode in the vehicle and I refused to look at him. I just couldn't.. So many thoughts swarmed through my head. So many things have happened. But why did they all happen to me? As I said before, he laid me down and sat in front of me. I turned away from him and kept my blank expression plastered on my face. It wouldn't move, nor would I.

Michael: Baby.. I know every thing that I have wrong you of and what I need to do. I know you are very furious at me..

'Furious doesn't describe it..' I thought.

Michael: But I want to.. No. I need to fix this. Everyday digs a deeper hole into my heart and I know that it rips yours to shreds.

'It's smaller than shreds..'

Michael: I'm going to do any and everything in my power to fix this.. Fix us.. Fix everything. I'm sorry for everything that I have ever done to you. I promise- and you can do whatever you want to me if I break this promise - I will never hurt you again.

'I look forward to the day when everyone owns up to that.. Otherwise, stop trying to save me and let me die.' I truly had given up. I didn't expect our marriage to be like this! Had I would've known the future.. I probably wouldn't have married him.

Michael: You know I Love You right?

'I honestly don't know anymore..'

Michael: Right? Baby, I Love You more than life. If I could change everything around, I would. I'd do it all over for you. Only you.. Are you hungry?

He knew that I wouldn't budge, but I will admit that I was indeed hungry. Michael sighed, disappeared and came back with a tray of food. I could smell it.. Everything that he cooked, I knew what it was before my eyes looked at them. I turned away from him again when he came back. Michael sat on the other side and tried to feed me, but I refused to let him feed me. I kept turning and he kept following me. Michael got frustrated with me and gave.

Michael: Oh my Lord, Suzanne! Will you PLEASE eat something? I don't want you to starve!

'If I starve, I'll die. If I die, let me go. You didn't miss me on earth, so why would you miss me when I'm gone?'

Michael: I-.. I don't know what to do with you..

Michael walked out of the room and about thirty minutes went by before I heard the door open. I thought it was Michael, so I ignored it. A part of the bed sank and then I heard a voice that was the only thing that calmed me down.

LaToya: Sue? What's wrong?

I turned slightly and then I hugged her. I didn't cry. I didn't want to show how bad I was feeling just yet..

LaToya: What's wrong?

I pointed to my lips and shook my head. She got the message.

LaToya: That surgery must've been serious.

I shrugged. She went on and on talking to me. I would occasionally answer with a nodd or any other gesture.

LaToya: You better eat something.. Are you hungry?