Again

Chapter 30.

It would be one of those moments you see in movies. The weather is clouded, grey shadows resembling the faces of your fellow students. Everyone's moving, expect for you. How come the world seems moving so slow when you see someone that could make your heart burst through your ribs? It would feel like heat rise up your skin, crawling on every inch of your body, reviving every cell you own. Your breathing would be caught up your throat and for a few moments you would forget to even breathe. Nothing matters anymore, no problem would seem big enough to be important. It's crazy actually that a feeling like this exists. Stories are written about the feeling of being lifted from the ground.

It's seen on TV, and every time you wonder why people do the things they do. You don't feel it while watching it. You wouldn't feel all the things you would feel now, so it doesn't make sense. They only mention how good it feels.

But they never mention how awful it feels when it ends. How everyone keeps moving on expect for you. How the world seems to move too slow and your heart crushes against your ribs painfully. It would feel like being burned alive. You can't breathe, the rising of your chest is an aching move. Your problems grow, towering over you like a sky high building and you begin to wonder when it will come down on you. You never read any story about falling on the cold hard ground and not standing back up. So I guess this is a first.

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I sip on my water, nodding along to whatever Emma's telling me right now. She didn't ask me one single question about the day I went away with Harry which is odd. It's like she wants me to open the topic, but I don't know why. I can't help but wonder why Harry didn't came yet either. It's not like I desperately want him to, but I would like to have my bag back. Since there are important things in it, and I would like to know that he didn't go through my stuff. Although, he might did.

"Mia? Aren't you listening? I said that Carter is actually a very smart guy, given that he's a basketball player. You know, they sometimes aren't that smart...“

"Stop being such a cliché, Ems," I say, as Heather sits next to me, a tray of food in her hands.

"Did you guys knew that Carter is actually a math genius?" Heather tells, grinning from ear to ear. Her eyes sparkle with excitement, mixed with something else that I cannot put my finger on.

Emma shakes her head. "I already told that, but it seems like I'm only talking to myself," Em says, shooting daggers at me with her eyes.

I smile half-hearted. "Sorry. I'm just really, really tired," I explain, which is actually true. But it's not the tiredness that makes me unfocused. It's the possibility that Harry could burst through the cafeteria doors any given moment to hand me the backpack. Maybe, I should just text him and meet him instead of having him to come up all this way here?

"Earth to Mia? Hello?" Heather snaps her fingers at me, making me blink rapidly. "We wanted to ask if you're free tonight. Since you're eighteen finally, we could go out?"

I shake my head. "I don't know...“

Emma and Heather exchange a look, which they do since they saw each other this morning. "You should just name yourself Rapunzel from now on," Emma jokes.

Heather rolls her eyes. "And let people think that she is crazy for calling herself after a Disney princess?"

"Hmm, wouldn't be nice if Prince Charming came to safe you? A person perfectly made for you?" Emma asks dreamingly, letting her eyes wander over the tables as if she was mentally checking off ever male that has a potential to be her prince.

I groan. "I don't want to be saved by a man. I want to be able to save myself," I run my hand through my hair. "I would like to think that there is a person out there, perfectly made for me. But I'm sure it isn't going to be a prince...“

I look around nervously and Heather raises a cognizant eyebrow, little creases forming around her lips. "So you're imagining more of a dark knight?"

"Uhh, a fallen angle maybe?"

I couldn't help but smile at their curious and amused faces. Instead of answering I basically stuff as much food in my mouth as I can. Firstly, because I get the time to think of an answer and secondly because I like to annoy them way too much. They both watch me chew, which would be uncomfortable, but the slowly changing face expressions make up for it. They both look like they're going to explode any minute.

"Oh my God Mia! I swear to God swallow already or I'm going to make sure you never eat anything again!" Em practically snarls at me. I swallow, but still didn't get an answer. Even the simple look on his face in my mind makes the butterflies appear again, which kills my hunger.

"I don't think I need any kind of guy right now," I sigh. "It seems like a lot of work. Unnecessary feelings that won't let you focus on anything but one special person, that actually has the power to crush you like a nut under the pressure of a shoe."

The second I finish I know I have gone too far when Em and Heather exchange that look, again. Do they think I get partly blind at convenient moments?

"It sounds like you have had experience with that kind of... feelings? But you would've told us if you did, wouldn't you?" Heather asks carefully. I squeeze my eyes shut, leaning back in my seat.

"Of course I would. Can we change the subject now?" I asks, but they still just look at me. The unconvinced face expressions make my palms sweaty. "How about you tell me a bit more about that Carter guy?"

Emma's and Heather's eyes light up at the same time, while they begin talking about every single detail they managed to find out since yesterday. Apparently he is new, his parents just moved here. His zodiac sign is cancer and his favorite color is orange. And when our basketball team heard how good he played in his old school they convinced him on our team. Which is odd since he came two days ago. Word really does travel fast in this school. We all have math with him, but I wasn't there since I went away with Harry. But they both seem rather impressed with his... brain.

While they are talking I nod to every word they are saying. But under the table I manage to send a quick text to Harry.

'Could you please bring me my backpack after school? I need it. And please tell me you didn't go through my stuff. -M'

A few minutes later I get a reply. Even through the phone he makes my palms go sweaty and hands shaky. 'I didn't. I can bring it now as well. Don't you need your History homework for 6th period? -H'

I press my lips into a fine line to not laugh. 'Thank you for going through it. No please bring it at the end of the school. And make sure no one sees you.'

I put my phone away, but answers almost immediately. 'I'm on my way, be there before 6th period.'

My heart drops. I do not want him to come here, I just cannot face him. I wouldn't be able to look him the face. I can feel the tears building up as I remember how nonchalant he was about the kiss. He didn't care even though it was so meaningful for me.

"Who are you texting?"

I froze for a moment, but decide it is no use in lying. They both already now that I drove away with Harry yesterday. I know I can trust them with everything. I'm just afraid that I will break down when I tell them.

When I look at their faces all the doubts fall from my heavy heart. The worry and honesty in their eyes make me wonder why I'm so shy in telling them how I feel. What is the worst thing that can happen? "It's Harry. He's coming.. And I don't think I can see him right now."

"Why not? We didn't want to push you into talking..," Emma explains, taking my hand from across the table. "You can tell us whenever you want. Just know that we won't judge you."

"I already judge myself. I don't know what I'm doing," I sigh, squeezing my phone between my fingers. "I never felt like this."

"Tell us," Heather smiles kindly at me. And so I tell them. Everything. 

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A/N.: Hello guys! Good news: my exams week is over! YEEES! My brain still feels like pudding though ugh. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.

Tell me what you think and please take the two seconds that requires for you to click that vote button! Thank you and ILY! XO