Again

Chapter 28.

The feeling of Harry's lips on mine is something I have never felt before in my entire life. I can feel his sharp intake of breath as I move my lips against his. His hand that was once resting on my waist, is now on my cheek and I lean into his warm palm. I have never been kissed before in my life, so I have no idea what I am doing here. I simply can't stop, the sensation is overtaking me as the kiss becomes more heated. His lips taste just like I have imagined and I can taste the faint hint of beer on his tongue as he runs it against mine.

I never liked the taste of beer, but on his lips it's something that makes me want to taste nothing else in my life again.

I can feel the cold metal in the corner of my mouth as I intake a sharp breath, which gives him the opportunity to break our kiss. "Amelia," he whispers, brushing his lips on mine. He leans in again, his lips only an inch from mine. He didn't move or speak, the seconds ticked on forever, the tension between us building up so much that I might explode. He looks me into the eyes for a minute then on my lips again, lurching forward. His lips are strong, but soft as he captures my lower lip between his and tugging it back, before diving in again. He parted my lips with his tongue, sweeping it along the insides of my mouth. Waves of fire make me feel hot and I pull the cardigan off my shoulders, never breaking this kiss. He helps me before his hands find my waist and he moves me on top of him so I'm straddling his lap. This is something I have never thought I would do with someone like Harry, but it makes me feel so good. It makes me feel like I am in control, but at the same time makes me feel like I am desired.

His lips still move against mine as his fingers push themselves into the flesh on my hips. The sensation has taken every fiber of my being and my mind is no longer in charge of my actions. Harry leans back, never breaking the kiss once.

For a moment, I am unsure of where to place my hands, so I place them against his chest. He moves away from the kiss and I can't help but whimper at the loss of his touch. He grabs my hair gently enough to keep it back so he has free access to my neck. His teeth gaze my collarbone and I release a moan. "You're so responsive to me," he groans, I can feel his lips curving up to a smile on my skin. His hand tugs at the hem of my shirt, moving it up slightly. His fingers gaze the skin right there and my hormones go absolutely crazy.

Suddenly, he quickly removes his touch and for a moment I am confused until I hear the familiar annoying sound of a cell phone. Harry groans angrily, moving to grab it from the front seat. One arm is securely around my waist as I move with him. He doesn't look at the I.D. caller before answering.

"What," he snaps, breathing heavily. While listens to the other person on the line, I attempt to move from his lap. A blush creeping into my face, as the realization of my actions play over in my mind. How far would this have go if the cell phone didn't interrupt us? What was I willing to do in the heat of the moment with a boy I swore to forget as soon as the approaching weekend is over? What am I capable of letting him do to me without having any control?

"I don't care what it is. If I don't text you back, it means I don't want to talk to you."

His grip on my hips tighten, refusing to let me go. He looks kind of confused, frowning at me. "I don't give two flying fucks about it. You knew me before that. Why the fuck are you sounding so surprised?"

"Who is it?" I ask quietly enough for only him to hear it. He shakes his head, removing his touch from my hips. I take the opportunity to gather the mess we made with our food packages and open the door. I show them to Harry and he nods, as I get out to throw them away. When I return, I sit on the passenger seat, while Harry's ending the call. The blush is still evident in my cheeks, but I don't allow myself to think about it until I'm home safe.

My chest aches, as he gets into the driver’s seat. "Can you drive me home, please?"

• • •

"I'm sorry.." I say, while looking out of the window. Harry has parked the car near my house. Since then it's been five minutes and we've just been sitting in silence. I don't know why I feel guilty, but I do. I always imagined my first to be on a date or something, not in the back of a car. Whoever called in that moment, I am very thankful to. Finn's face flash in my mind and I start to feel uneasy.

"Why?" he asks, his voice as uninterested as ever. He pushes his hair out of his face, and I admire the inked skin on his arms. It's such a contrast to his angel looking features.

"For kissing you, I guess," I explain, feeling rather uncomfortable. "You should have stopped me. Friends do not... kiss."

"Oh please," Harry huffs, making eye contact with me. His beauty and attractiveness still takes my breath away every time he looks at me. It appears that only then I'm sucked into a vacuum, only hearing his voice and the inexplicable pounding of my blood in my ears. "It's not like I forced you into heavily making out with me. You could have stopped me easily." He turns his head at me, his green eyes just like the dull surface of wine bottle. "And please do not think that we're suddenly soul mates just because we kissed. It was nothing special."

There he was again. The cocky expression, the arrogant attitude is the Harry I've become so familiar with. This man is so full of himself. I blankly stare at him, the burning of the waiting tears in my eyes make me blink rapidly. I do not trust my voice at this moment, but I can't stop myself. "You don't mean that," I whisper, and I just hope that I imagined my voice cracking. The lump in my throat makes it hard for me to breath. He looks away from me, starring ahead of him. I wait, I try to give him some minutes to answer, but there is nothing between us except for painful silence. The sound of the ringing phone straddles me. When he gets it out I get a glimpse at the display. And then I get out.

It's when I close the door behind me that I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks. I slice down the door, my bottom hitting the floor hard, which only makes me sob even harder. Nothing special, that is what my first ever kiss meant for him. He's been with so many girls, so many 'bed bunnies' before that, one simple kiss, from a simple girl is nothing worth his time.

"Amelia?" my mother’s voice calls, but I can't bring myself to answer, or deal with her. I can't move, my thoughts are drowning me.

He didn't even bother to turn off his phone, instead he answered. Maybe I should be thankful that Eve called. She stopped me from doing a terrible mistake. I know she was the first caller, I just know. I can feel it, just like I feel this crumbling, crushing severity that seems to paralyze my whole body.

"Are you-" She stops in her tracks when she sees me. It doesn't matter anymore, the fight, the argue. It's should be a crime, illegal even, to feel like this. "Oh my sweet baby," my mother melodizes, wrapping her arms around me.

"Mum," I breath, leaning my head on her chest. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh, it will be okay. I promise it will be okay."