Again

Chapter 38.

The burn is almost freeing and if it wasn't for the surprisingly cold summer wind I would swear that I am dreaming. His hand is warm as it wraps around mine in a gentle touch and this time I am prepared for the electricity that goes through my body. I don't think I ever get used to it, though I wonder if it ever goes away.

I can see the hard muscles of his arms and back tightening. He's wearing a grey shirt and dark blue jeans. He looks heavenly without even having to try. Once I get a close up to his face I recognize a small change in his appearance. His lip and mouthing are gone. I frown, but don't ask why.

Once we are out and around a corner, the shadows of the trees hiding us from, when he pushes me against the brick wall. By now my heart rate speeds up and feels like bursting out. Will it ever stop? Will I get used to the shaking of my hands when his green eyes stare deep into my mine? Will my skin stop carving his touch, his lips? Or am I already too deep?

"What do you think you're doing?" he snarls, his breath hitting my neck. He smells like sweat and blood and Harry. A scent I cannot describe otherwise. When I look down I only now notice his knuckles bleeding. But I don't really pay attention. My clouded mind needs a few seconds to recover from his actions. His arms are stretched out, leaning against either side of my head. His face his inches from mine, face flushed in anger. Why is he angry?

"What do you mean?" I ask instead. "You dragged me out of there..."

He completely ignores my words. And even though he looks angry, I know he isn't. There is something different sparkling in his eyes. Emotions I can only describe as betrayal and slight fear. "I asked you repeatedly not to meet Andrew and you did."

"How would you know?" I ask, calmly. I am not going to put fuel into the fire that is Harry. He wants me to make him angry, because that's the only emotion he knows how to react to - or at least he thinks he does.

"I saw him leave, Mia. You think I am fucking stupid, don't you? Why would you meet him after I told you so many times not to?"

"You didn't ask, you demanded," I hiss quietly as some pedestrians walk past us. But they don't seem to take notice of us anyway. My heart is racing, his breathing is uneven. I silently repeated the words Emma told me in my head.

"You are strong. Nobody can tell you otherwise, Mia. If anyone out of our group can be a bad-ass than it is you."

And then her face flashes before my eyes. As well as Olivia Pope's face, along with the words she had spoken. "I am not your property."

"I am not yours. I won't take orders from you."

His breathing still goes fast, he's panting as if he ran a marathon. His pupils dilate as he looks at me - really looks at me. His eyes wander down my body casually and it feels like being caught on fire. He seems impressed but also surprised by my words. I come to believe that not many, if any, girls turn him down. For a moment I thought he would lean down to kiss me and I can feel the burning desire awakening by my thoughts. Is it really that easy? One look from him and I am his to form? Does he realize the affect he has on me?

"Did you do it... to hurt me?" He suddenly asks, his voice shaky and his eyes widened in fear. The green of his eyes changed from the color of jade to a dark forest color. As if his emotional state has the ability to change the thoroughly change the color of his iris. The way he looks at me makes my heart bleed and I have to control my urge to reach out and run my hand over his skin and hair that has been falling into his eyes.

My mind is going wild, trying to make sense out of this but are disturbed by my heart. There is no way someone could fake this, right? I don't know why, but a small part of me still thinks that this is all a game. He didn't really proof to me otherwise. But right now, right here I don't want to do anything other than to wrap my arms around him. "No," I answer flatly. "I did it for myself."

The corners of his mouth lift slightly, a smug expression forming. "So what you make out with me and then move to the next guy? Does Jamie now you're messing around with her boyfriend?"

I press my lips into a fine line. Anger builds inside of me. "You don't know me at all do you?" I whisper. Defense, this is the only reaction he knows. Building the wall high enough so I can't see anything. Just a facade. "I don't need to report back to you."

His face is so close that it hurts. "But somehow we always end up together don't we? You always come with me," he whispers and comes even closer if that is possible. His lips brush mine in a teasingly way. I want him to kiss me, I really do - but it wouldn't be right. I need to be strong.

"Home. I need to go home," I say. He blinks surprised, but quickly rebuilds his cocky expression.

"Well then, I'll drive you," he demands and I roll my eyes.

"I came with my own car, thanks," I sigh. It's a lie if it'd say that I don't want him to drive me.

"Perfect, I didn't come with a car. Louis drove me," he explains, his eyes sparkling with humor. His sudden change in mood makes my heart swell but also dizzy. And to my utter surprise he takes my hand, his thumb running over my knuckles. "Let's go."

I'm so captive by his touch that I don't see the figure in the shadows, watching us as we go

• • •

After a back on forth on who should drive the car I give up, throwing the keys against his chest. He catches it with ease and climbs into the car with me. While driving I look outside the window on my side, but do feel his eyes on me now and then. I know he's not sure if to talk or not. "How are you going to get home? Since you don't have a car," I ask without looking his direction. For a moment I thought that he didn't hear me, or that he just doesn't want to answer me.

"Don't worry about that. We're neighbors, remember?"

"How could I forget," I sigh.

Another moment passes. "Do you like him? Andrew I mean?" he asks quietly. My eyes widen at his tone, his question and I turn my head to see him pale. Again I see his knuckles, red and the little bit of blood smeared and tried on his broken skin. Are they ever not bruised?

"What do you mean?"

"Do you like him?" he repeats his question. I can see him already building his guard up.

"Yeah, I like him," I answer and see how he grips the steering wheel harder. I don't even think he notices, he doesn't even flinch when the wounds open further. "Not in a romantic way if you mean that.." I feel like adding. He doesn't give away anything, his face is a mask. He's still very pale so the redness that spreads in his cheeks are easily visible and nothing he can hide.

The question is already out of my mouth before I even realize it. "And Eve? Do you like Eve?"

Now he looks surprised, starring right at me as he stops at a red light. He pushes the hair out of his forehead, eyes searching for my eyes. "No. I mean we do mess around..." he says, but stops himself when he sees me flinch at his comment. Unconsciously I move away from him. I wonder if he feels it, too. This invisible string that I feel between us. Like gravity that is pulling me to Harry instead on the earth. His eyes are wide, the pupils dilated and I force myself to look away when his hand reaches out, bringing me to his attention. "But not since we... since I... kissed you."

I let out a ragged breath that I've been holding since he started talking. "What are you trying to tell me?"

But he chooses to let this question unanswered.

•••••••••••••••

A/N.: Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed reading this! I was meant to get this up sooner, but I was reading the first two books of the infernal devices series.. and it was so good that I literally needed two days to let it all sink. Have any of you read the series? Because it is just so amazing. Will Herondale forever. But who do you ship? Jem with Tessa or WIll with Tessa?

Anyway, please leave a comment to let me know what you think (of the chapter and TID)! And please, please vote! ILY XO