The Teased Mate (𝓑𝓸𝓸𝓴 #1)

Chapter Forty-Eight

I walk into the office and Ari is not there. I have a feeling the joy from their good news is still carrying on right now. They are doing it, and all I have to say is, that at least one of us is getting it.

You see, I was never once offered Luna training. Like his whole family was like an old Justin Beiber song, everyone was like Baby Baby Baby. But as soon as I got pregnant they kept their distance. I had my family back and they had mine. But I would never mix well with his family because of the fear of them stepping all over me. His father didn't like our relationship. I refused to be with his son when they wanted me to. In the beginning, they wanted me to drop out of school and start Luna training right away. My mom put her foot down, she wanted to see her baby girl graduate high. That caused a bigger argument that I wasn't a part of even though it was about my future.

I go and sit, ready to read a few papers. Luna does a lot of work. All my pack wanted from me was a baby, not my judgment. When they wanted my judgment, I wasn't ready. Also, I never in a million years thought he was going to be my mate. I am just dumb and in love, with God I told myself to not fall for him. I warned myself and that just made me fall for him more. He was forbidden and like my natural woman nature, I took it like it was fruit to be picked.

What the hell is wrong with me? I let this motherfucker emotionally abuse me for years. We pushed each other away, maybe it was for a reason. Then, I let him into my heart just for him to do it again. Ugh, one minute I am ready to jump into his arms, the next minute, I want to rip them off and shove them where the sun doesn't shine!

"How stupid am I?" I ask out loud getting no response because no one is here.

At least I got one good thing out of that relationship. I honestly can't wait to hold her. Even though that is not going to happen for a couple of months, I am nervous as heck.

What am I going to do when she gets here? In the future what am I going to do when she asks about her father? I know what it's like to not have one and I can't fucking process executing those things to her. She needs a dominant father figure. Then it hits me, Rick is my second chance mate.

I don't want to fabricate a lie to her, but he could be an acceptable candidate. I don't know how he would accept her as his own. My stepfather never did, he treated me like a help. I can't let that happen to my baby girl. No way in hell is she going to get hurt or I will tear their throat out.

Oh God, I have become violent which is something, I am not typically. I lend my heart and protection to the people I love.

I started organizing papers trying to deflect myself from the world. It starts to help until my feet start aching like hell. I want to say so many freaking profanities, but again I don't want my child to hear that. Even though she is unborn, I have to stop.

I probably sound crazy, but I want her to say, mama first not shit or fuck, two words I use way too often. I have only really cussed inside my head. As in when thinking I do, I am doing pretty good.

You see I grew up hearing it from my step-father and my mom started the habit too. So, of course, my dumb ass picked it up. I would rather be saying words like fuck and shit than be smoking or doing drugs. It is not the worst of bad habits.

It's around noon before Abi shows up, she is not dressed professionally and I can tell she hasn't had much rest. I grin ready to call her out.

"Been working on growing the pack all night I see," Abi blushes, her eyes roll and she stands up with no fear in her eyes. She seems proud.

"It's that noticeable?" She slams her head on the table. I laugh at her dramatic means.

"Hey, who knows, maybe my daughter will be best friends with yours. Or be best friends with your son. It will all be worth it." I say, trying to cheer up my best friend.

"I hope my body doesn't go to hell though, look at you, you're pregnant and glowing. Like your breasts damn, that baby is providing you a goddess body, no wonder you found your second chance mate. Also if you choose to be with him, then we would be in-laws. Sisters even, if he is one-tenth as good as my mate in bed, you will show up to the office like." Abi smiles and I sit down by her and I swat her on the thigh.

"We have always been sisters. Also, I am not looking to mate with anyone right now. I can't risk anything. I have a baby that I have to put first." Abi smiles up at me.

"When did you become so grown?" She asks me.

"The moment the test showed two lines. I had to get over myself. I had to realize that this was a blessing. That I was lucky to be alive, that my baby was perfectly okay. It did come as a surprise though. But it is a good surprise." Abi smiles down at her stomach.

She points to it, "Now you get your shit together." I laugh at her antics.

"Before we get to work can I ask you something?" Abi seems a bit nervous about something.

"Of course, you just did." Abi smiles at my joke.

"What was it like being mated with Anthony?" My smile fades a bit as I think back.

"It was magical at first. When we first mated and everything. But then, there was all this pressure. It was so confusing because I wanted him, but at the same time, he had a temper and would do and say some of the stupidest stuff. But he did a bunch of nice things, like the house and our puppy. I miss him, but I had to leave something behind to love and take care of him. He put me first in every aspect and situation. Well until the end. When I rejected him. He pushed me away saying it was because he loved me and wanted to protect me." Abi gave me tissues because I didn't realize I was crying again. I was so intent on letting everything spill that the floodgate opened as well.

"Sorry Abi it's hormones, baby you'll know how it is soon," I explain as the tears keep coming.

"No, it's not you are hurting, let me be here for you! I am here to love you and hold you and take care of you. As your best friend, I hate seeing you this way. You are the strongest person, I know. Stop lying to yourself. It's not good for you and the baby." She explains tearing up.

"I do know that I am hurting, but I honestly don't know how to deal with it. I worry all the time about everyone and everything. I give and I give and I am just so damn tired all the time. My heart is shattered! My life is in danger; which puts you in danger and my baby. Wherever I go something bad happens. I am terrible luck, I am no good." I cry and yell in general, hoping she knows it is not at her.

"No, you are not you are sunshine on a cloudy dad. Bad stuff happens to good people. Good people rise from the bad like a Phoenix. You always have the strength to overcome it. If you feel like you don't right now. Think of that little girl who is depending on you right now." As Abi says it I do. I think about her.

What can I do to help ensure our safety? To get back to my mate. I still love him and I want him to be here for me and our daughter. I deserve that at least.

Don't I?

I go home and head straight to my room. I lock the door and grab a book from the shelf.

I sit in silence trying to escape my reality.

I need a plan, I need one.

But, first I am going to read this damn book. I am going to finish it in hopes of not doing something not rational.