The Teased Mate (𝓑𝓸𝓸𝓴 #1)

Chapter Fifty-Three

I start swimming in my sea of thoughts. I feel like clouds are forming in my head. I look out the window to the snow-white sky.
My heart starts beating normally and I try everything to distract myself.

My daughter, Hailey. She could be a perfect distraction, she makes me feel so optimistic. She is so perfect, I don't have many females in my life. I have never really had a strong role model, I parented myself. We had a mom, but she wasn't around much. When she was around she came around a few times a year, like on holidays.
My legs ache, I get out of bed my whole body is sore. I push past the pain and the tiredness.

This is the first time, I have ever stood up since having the baby. It's weird, my wolf wants her back, safe inside me. She feels as if she was more safe there. The room is frigid and white, my feet are two ice cubes sliding across the floor.

I walk over to her crib and then walk back over to the bed with her in my arms. She is currently awake and in need of a diaper change. I grab a diaper and begin changing her diaper, I kiss her hands and her chubby cheeks, as I change her ever so carefully.

"You are so precious to me. I love you so much, my little princess." I fastened up her diaper and then her outfit. I bundle her up like a burrito. And coo her to sleep, rocking her back and forth, back and forth. I looked at her angelic face, realizing I would do anything for her. Anything.

How can one love someone so much, my heart is in her hands and she has been here all of about a few days. It's so weird holding her in my hands, she is mine and real. I can't wait to watch her grow, but I fear I might not get that opportunity.

The moon goddess can take my life if she pleases. I don't want to cause someone else to die. I can't murder the ones I love, I just can't. She told me, I had a choice, so I chose me. I cry as I hold my daughter close to me.

"Mommies going to have to go one day, I have to because no one deserves to die. I have caused this all. It's my family, that everyone is against. I couldn't choose them, but, I want you to have a great life. One that is not on the run, or always in danger. My job is to keep you safe. So far, I have hidden behind others to do so. I need to stand my ground and not be a coward. I know you can't understand this, but just know I love you." As if she could understand me she wraps her tiny hand around my finger and squeezes. I smile at my girl. I kiss her cheek hoping my tears don't fall on her. I don't want her only memory of me like this. I want her to have happy thoughts.

I am going to leave soon, without them.

For now, I will write letters like my father gave me. Life goes full circle, doesn't it? My father is a coward, now me. I will not go down without a fight. My family deserves to be free of this.

I hold her close to me and she yawns in her sleep. I smile at her, she gives me hope and home. I have to fight, I have to find a way to come back to her no matter what.

I have to write Ari a letter too, and Rick. I want them to not worry. I want them to take good care of her, while I am gone. I need them to know, I can't let my grandfather know of her. She needs to be loved and taken care of. She needs family, that has no blood connected to me. They can cover her scent. Her father's blood covers her too so with their help they can do so much good for her. I will leave them all my money too. I will be forever in their debt. I will have to figure out how to do this right.

I will be back by Christmas, I promise.

It takes a few weeks, but I am finally all healed up. I told Ari what I was doing and she has agreed not to tell anyone and to take care of my bubbly baby girl. I leave tonight, Rick doesn't know and the rest do not know as well. I quickly pack up my suitcase bringing what is crucial to doing what I need to do. I have a bunch of cash. I have some hidden in my car under the seats if needed. The last few weeks have been magical as a mother. Watching my little girl smile, makes my heart hurt knowing I might not be back to see her again. I cherish every single second. Her first bath and her first smile were the best gifts ever. To have those gorgeous moments.

Anthony takes care of her as well. He does it so well, she loves him. He is the reason, I couldn't fall completely for Rick. They are the reason, I am going to not cower down. Safety for the very ones I love.

I just finished a book today. The Beta got the girl and she found her real purpose. She found her original pack, the one who treated her poorly. She was the Alpha's only daughter. Her father rejected her mother and she then had her. She was an orphan, and she ran as soon as she could.

She found her father and he accepted her with open arms. Let's hope my grandfather will do the same. I want to friend him and offer him a home and peace. I want to just be surrounded by family. Grandma still loves him, he helped create all of us. He should be up there with them.

I should be home with Haily and my mate. I should be enjoying Fall and welcoming the winter. I gave Hailey her stuffed wolf, we took her to a toy shop and she fussed over that one the most. I then hand her a blanket that smells like my perfume. (It doesn't have my body scent, just what I use to cover up the dog smell.)

I walk out the door forcing myself to not look back. Fearing if I do, I will not go forward.