memory {boyxboy}

11; College

January 18

Status: gone

{Trigger warning}

--

"Fucking idiot" he punched me over and over again.

"This is what you deserve" he kicked my chest,

"Please stop..." I cried harder, clutching onto my shirt.

It's been 6 months, why can't he get over it and stop torturing me?

"Ok, come on, the teacher is coming" voices filled the air, while the bell rang.

I laid on the ground trying to get up on my feet, but I gave up.
Ever since July, I wanted nothing more to die right now.

I miss him so much, I really do...

"I never wanted things I end this way..." I whispered, finally getting onto my feet, limping to my dorm.

"I hate college" I muttered, not wanting to go inside the room.

He became a monster... he just can't stop hurting me.

I never meant to hurt anyone... but I always end up hurting someone.
I've been on couple dates but they were nothing compared to my one and only love. I walked into the bathroom.

"Fuck everyone" I muttered.

****Six Months Earlier****

"Taylor Jardine, what the fuck is happening?"

Her mouth opened, but quickly closed,

He didn't...

"He's..." I whispered, and she nodded,

My breathing got short and my chest clutched with pain.

"Oh..." tears filled my eyes, I ran out for fresh air,

Kellin what happened to us when we said forever? We were suppose to grow old together, make love you know? I can't do that if you're gone forever now.

I walked to my car, in tears. They couldn't stop.

I drove back home seeing my window in pieces, my door have multiple bat holes in it.

I gasped at the sight, before walking inside, turning the jammed doorknob.

Things in my house was partly broken, who would do this? I walked up stairs, seeing a note on my bed next to a picture with Kellin and I. They broke the frame..

I picked up the note reading it,
'I fucking hate your guts right now.'

For weeks I've been getting taunted with messages, got my car broken. Basically after knowing his death, things went downhill.

****End****

Weeks after that,

I've been getting blamed for his death and getting the cold shoulders from my friends, plus Mike.

I've been self harming since then and can't stop. As the day go on, it's been getting worser and worser...

Jaime, Mike and Tony all turned against me. Jaime is the only one doing the ass kicking, while Mike make me feel like a failure in life and as brother, and Tony? He just give me the cold shoulder.

"48 months Kells, never forget. I-I love you and I wish you were here with me. I'm so sorry" I sobbed into my knees, feeling sore all over.

Basically, I'm in college, Kellin and I dream college- plus Jaime. I guess we all got accepted to this school and now they made my life a living hell.

I deserved it though, nothing can compare to all the damage I've done to Kellin right now. I stood stiff hearing the door open and close.

Shit, he's here already...I made an attempt to lock the door, and scoot farther away from it.

"Vic, I know you're in here" he said, and I closed my eyes shut. I heard the door knob rattle...

"Please leave me alone" my voice was shaky.

I heard the door open. I've never been so scared in my life.

"What happen to the old Vic? You know, the one that yells all the time? The confident one? Where did he go? Now you're just pathetic and weak. You know you never deserved Kellin, did you know that?"

With my eyes closed, and I'm pulling onto my hair, I slowly nodded,

"I- I know that,"

"So why did you keep him huh?"

"Because I lo-"

"You fucking liar" He seethed, punching me. He then grabbed my hair slamming my face repeatedly on the toilet seat.

I deserved it, all of it...

I just let him do it, and let the darkness consume me.

~*~*~*~

"Oh thank god you're awake" I heard someone say, and I groaned in response. I flustered my eyes open seeing Casey in front of me in my room, with a huge smile.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel fine" I lied,

"You're lucky I spotted you. Who did this to you?"

"No one, I spilled and fell pretty hard, I'm fine" I wanted nothing more than to die.

"Well, while you were asleep I treated some cuts on your face, and your nose is kinda broken"

"Thanks Casey" he was my only real friend here.

"Since you're awake and claim you are fine, I better be going now. Be careful next time" he winked before leaving.

"Kellin would you be happy if I would just....go? I'm not needed here, and I don't know if I can be here a day longer. I know this was your dream school, but I can't do this. I know you deserve better, I just.... wanted you safe, a-and I'm so sorry." I cried. Being dead was the only thing on my mind, before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up with a stiff neck, feeling sore all over.

"Fuck" I groaned looking at the time on my phone, I'm late for first period. I basically rushed to shower and put on my clothes before grabbing my bag to leave. I was locking the door when I heard my name being called from the hall.

"Vic" he whispered again but I decided to ignore it. I adjust the bag onto my shoulder, speed walking away. I heard footsteps coming toward my direction, by now I was crying. I felt him grab my wrist and turn me around, but I kept my eyes shut.

I instantly knew this was Jaime, just the way his hand felt.

"Open your eyes" he order and I did as told.

We were looking eye to eye, what's going on?

"Yesterday, you said something" he said and I confused, what did I say yesterday? I kept my mouth shut though,

"I said," he squeezed my wrist causing me to whimper in pain.

His eyes traveled down to my wrist. I tried yanking my arm away but he had a good grip on it, and he yanked down my sleeve.

His eyes went wide, and I panicked.

"Vic...."

"No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean too. Please don't hurt me" I closed my eyes, sobbing.

Then everything took a twisted turn. He embraced me with a tight hug, and I kept crying on his chest, as he whispered,

"What have I done? I'm so sor-" he eyes were filled with guilt but I wasn't buy it. I pushed to get off him, and I started to run to the dorm as he called for my name.

My mind was taking over and I couldn't stop it...

🌿

Edited