Heartbreak | Patton Sanders

Chapter 6.

Lying was dishonest. Patton knew that. He was the moral side to Thomas. The knowledge of rights and wrongs, the understanding of what is right and what is moral. Knowing the principles of right and wrong, and how to seek them throughout dilemma's and/or everyday life.

But right now, Patton couldn't even seek his own morals. He had repetitively lied towards his companions, and as much as it pained him to even let a simple white lie slip from his lips, he knew it was somewhat the only way to show his happy self. He had to be happy. For Thomas. Thomas was a happy person in general, he showed a lot of happiness and joy. He gave the happiness and joy and spread it to friends, family and his fans. But what he couldn't do. He couldn't be sad.

Patton felt himself being summoned, appearing in his usual spot. He wasn't expecting it, but it happened. Virgil was sat on the stairs, looking over at the Dad character with a look of suspicion.

"Patton. Good to see ya." Thomas stated with a smile before glancing over at the others. "We were just discussing about whether or not I should agree to this.. uh, date. I guess."

"You guess?" Roman emphasised, before shaking his head. "Haven't we already spoke about this in the 'Exploring Nostalgia' video? Love is about taking a chance! You saw a cute guy, he asked you out - You have no reason to say no!"

"But what if this is all misinterpreted?" Virgil popped in. Thomas gave a frown as he looked at the camera, which was recording. "As you can see, my Anxiety has heightened."

"Hear me out." Virgil mentioned before sighing. "Maybe this guy doesn't want a relationship. Maybe he just wants a friendly meal. Besides, you're not stable anyways. What if you accidentally expressed your feelings and they were unrequited? What if he doesn't like you at all? Maybe he's just doing it to be nice."

"Okay, okay. We get it." Roman jumped in. "We don't need you to be the downer here."

"Patton," Logan spoke up as the Dad side looked over. "You are Thomas's heart. What do you have to say in the matter?"

Thomas glanced over at his Moral side, who just exhaled as he sank into his thoughts. "Patton? You feeling okay?" He asked and Patton just nodded. "I'm alright. Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Have you come to a conclusion?" Logan asked and Patton just softly nodded. "I recommend you.. do what's best. Do you like this guy, Thomas?"

Thomas nodded. "I think I do, yeah."

"Does he bring you joy? And happiness?"

Thomas nodded.

"Then go for it. You deserve to be happy."

And I'm doing a horrible job at keeping you happy. I'm sorry Thomas.

Virgil grew cautious with Patton's advice, while Roman clapped. "Yes! Exactly, thank you Patton!"

"Are you not seeing the consequences behind this?!" Virgil stated, getting slightly frustrated.

"They can ignore you.
But when they're ignored.
Look what happens."

Patton winced at the voice, before nodding at his thoughts. It was true. He was always the one being ignored, but as soon as the others were - they made themselves heard.

"It's not nice to be ignored, is it?" Patton spoke up, glancing over at Virgil who looked hurt. "It's not nice to be the one who's opinions are ignored when they could be useful."

"Woah, now.." Thomas spoke up, looking at Patton. "I think that was kind of harsh, Patton.."

"What's harsh? The truth?" Patton asked, before glancing at his host.

"The truth hurts."

"The truth hurts." Patton repeated, slightly shrugging.

"What are you referring to?" Logan asked. Patton felt himself about to burst. Word vomit. He didn't want to lose it, he didn't want to outburst his true feelings. It could affect Thomas.

"But you'll make a point. A clear point."

But it's gonna hurt-

"It's going to hurt, yes. But since when did anybody care for you being hurt?"

Who cared for him when he was upset? Virgil. Of course he would check up on him.

"But that was only after he realised your pain."

Patton took a deep breath as the others waited for an answer. How long did he remain silent? He was talking to the voices in his head. And there it was:

An outburst.

"I'm talking about myself." Patton screeched out. The host was startled while the others seem to exchange looks with confusion. "I am fed up with being ignored. I'm fed up of being treated like a child! I have feelings, I have ideas and I can help Thomas just as equally as you all can! I try.. so hard to be happy. Happy for Thomas, happy for you all. But you're making it so hard when all I get is not being listened to!"

"Pat-"

"No. Don't." Patton exhaled before shaking his head. Before anybody else could say anything else, he sank down and back into his room. He slammed the door shut and locked it, breathing heavily as he felt himself being worked up.

Did he really just do that?

~~~~~~~~~~

Thomas just stared, completely stunned and in confusion. "What was that about?" He asked, glancing over at the others. "He's not okay, is he?"

Virgil sighed. "He told me he had.. voices in his head. I don't know what he meant by it, but he's been unstable for a while. I don't know how long this has been going on for."

"He admitted on the 25th October, 2017. He admitted that he was feeling rather.. not himself. He was feeling down when he was trying to be happy. I believe this has just been an impact ever since." Logan explained, holding his planner in his hand.

Thomas exhaled. "Is that why I've been crying for no reason?" He questioned, causing the others to stare in shock.

"It's affecting you?" Virgil asked and Thomas shrugged. "I don't know.. There's just times where I feel down."

Logan sighed and rubbed his hands together. "What Patton is feeling is a more stronger feeling of sadness. He believes he cannot make you happy, and therefore he can't be happy himself. He reconsiders his job to just make sure you are happy as a person. In general health and in general emotion. With Patton being disheartened and isolated, it will lower your emotion state."

"I'm not following.." Thomas mentioned, looking towards Virgil, who seemed to be another part of his emotions. His fears.

"I think what Logan is trying to say.. is that with Patton being like this, he can't help but affect you too." His face was full of hurt. Patton's words did hurt him, and he felt as if he was overcoming a panic attack. His palms began to sweat as he fiddled with his sleeves.

"Logan. Stay with Virgil and Thomas. I'm gonna head back down in case anything happens." Roman mentioned before sinking down.

"What could possibly happen?" Thomas asked and Logan frowned, looking over at Virgil who looked uneasy.

"As we've said before." Virgil managed to speak up. "There's many things about us that you don't know. Patton.. He gets vulnerable when he gets emotional. He sometimes.. attracts unwanted visitors."

"Oh my gosh.. You're not talking about-"

"Yes, Thomas."

~~~~~~~~~

And much to Patton's surprise, the hissing continued. Until a shadow revealed itself.

"Very well done, Patton. Very well done, indeed.
You did exactly as I asked."