Lost ❄️ Reddie

3

Richie couldn't pay attention in class. He fumbled around with his pens, tapping his foot, unable to stay still. His teachers weren't strict or angry with him since they had received word from Wentworth and Maggie about Richie's inability to cope with the loss of his best friend.

"Richie? Do you want to step outside?" asked Mr Jensen, the math instructor.

He could excuse Richie's inability to pay attention, but he couldn't handle Richie's constant tapping his foot and accidentally distracting the class.

Richie mumbled something that sounded like he was agreeing and stood up, taking his bag with him. He walked to the cafeteria and sat down at an empty table, resting his face on the cool surface. He sat there lost in his depressed haze for a while before standing up and walking toward the doors of the school.

Richie knew he shouldn't skip, but he wouldn't be able to pay attention anyway. So, he wandered out of the school and down the familiar path that led to Eddie's house. As much as Richie didn't want to bother Sonia, he didn't have anywhere else he wanted to go.
Richie knocked on the door and Sonia answered, looking confused.

"Can I help you, Richie? Shouldn't you be in school?" Sonia asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Richie sniffed, unable to stop himself from feeling a wave of sadness crash on him. The house wafted out the familiar smell of lavender and honey. That's what Eddie smelled like, and up until he died, it was a comforting smell for Richie.

"C-can I sit in his room?" Richie asked weakly, looking up at Sonia with tears in his eyes.

Sonia smiled softly and let him inside. "I'll make some tea and call your mother to let her know where you are," she said in a gentle voice, watching as Richie climbed the stairs.

"Thank you," Richie mumbled, walking to the door he used to love walking up to.

Nothing but grief surrounded the door to Eddie's room now. It was as if all the life and happiness was sucked out when Eddie passed. Yet, Richie forced himself to open the door with shaky hands and tears dripping down his cheeks.

He hadn't gone into Eddie's room for nearly a month, the first time being to bury Eddie's favorite blanket with him. Richie refused to believe Eddie would truly rest unless he had the tattered blue blanket covering his small frame.

Richie realized the room hadn't changed much at all. It was still the same room with the sky blue bedspread that matched the curtains. There was a desk with stacks of journals and stories, as well as books lined up on the dresser.

Richie crossed the cream colored carpet and sat down on Eddie's bed, grabbing his pillow and holding it to his chest. He buried his face in it, sobbing at the familiar scent and realizing the love of his life was gone.

He sat there for a long time, crying into Eddie's pillow. He was stressed and overwhelmed and wished there was a way to trade Eddie's life for his. Even if he'd be lost, Eddie could've lived a happy life that he deserved.

There was a knock at the door and Sonia walked in, holding two mugs of tea. She put down hers on the desk and settled into the chair, handing the other over to Richie.

"I miss him, too," Sonia said quietly, wishing there was some way to help Richie. She had thought him to be a bad influence on her son, but now, she could see how connected the two boys were. "He really cared about you, Richie."

"I did too," Richie whispered, more to himself, but Sonia heard it anyway.

"You two terrified me sometimes, you know. I was scared he'd come home with broken limbs and some infection, but you always said the same thing," Sonia said with a soft laugh. "You always said, 'don't worry, Eds is safe with me, Mrs K!'"

Richie choked out another sob at the memory. He always tried to protect Eddie. Even when they fought the clown. The difference was, that time Richie didn't succeed.

"He always would complain when I didn't let him go out and play with you and your other friends. He said you'd protect him and make sure he wouldn't get hurt. He was right."

"No, he wasn't. It's my fault," Richie thought, knowing he couldn't say it aloud to Sonia.

She didn't know that Eddie had been murdered by a shapeshifting clown and that Richie could've saved him. He was so afraid and wanted to but didn't know what to do.

Sonia stood up and walked over to Eddie's closet, opening it and pulling down a box. On the top it had Eddie's name written in untidy scrawl. It clearly wasn't written by Eddie, since he always wrote in neat font and often tried to perfect Richie's.

"These are things of Eddie's when he was little," Sonia said quietly, tears in her eyes. She opened the box and pulled out a blue photo album, handing it to Richie. "These are some of his baby pictures and from his growth up to twelve years. I have one like this already, so I want you to have it, Richie."

Richie opened it, choking on another sob and sniffing. He opened the book and saw a baby bundled up in a fluffy blue blanket, only his large brown eyes and tuft of curly brown hair visible. Even though he didn't know what emotions were at that age, Eddie was smiling widely.

"Will it ever get better?" Richie asked, his voice cracking in pain and sadness.

"I don't know," Sonia said. "I want to heal for him. He wouldn't want us wasting away crying for him. There'll always be a hole, but I'm sure with time it'll heal."

"I miss him," Richie whimpered, running his thumb over a picture of him and Eddie on their first day of kindergarten.

Eddie was still short and had chocolate smeared on his face from the chocolate bar Richie had shared with him. Sonia didn't let Eddie have sweets, so Richie immediately shared his candy with the cute boy in his class.

"I know, honey. I know," Sonia said, standing up and walking toward the door of Eddie's room. "I'll make dinner if you want to stay, but I'm sure your parents will wonder where you are."

Richie stood up and put the photo album in his backpack. "It's okay," he whispered. "Thank you for letting me stay around for a bit."

Sonia smiled softly. "Of course, sweetie. I'll see you this weekend if you still want to come around and talk?"

Richie walked to the door after assuring Sonia he'd be there. As he left the house, Eddie's smell faded, and Richie felt worse than when he'd shown up.