songfic because flash part three is taking me longer to write then i thought
i saw julia michaels yesterday which was absolutely incredible and by far one of the best concerts i've been to, the amount of times she smiled and waved to me. my heart !
song: julia michaels - happy
//////////don't kiss in front of me, it makes me sick
i look around at the people kissing, leaning against their lockers, arms wrapped around one another, tongues dancing. it's disgusting.
i'm not bitter, well, maybe a little bit
for sure i'm bitter and i just want it to end, i hate it all, it's just a bad reminder of what i lost.
i'd sniff glitter if it'd help me feel something real and if it was my birthday, i'd make a wish to not be bitter 'cause i'm getting sick of this
i just want to be okay. that's all i want, i try to ignore them all but it's getting to my head, the images stick to my mind, no matter how hard i try to get rid of them.
I'd skip dinner if it'd help me feel something real
the avengers know something is up, watching as a barely touch my food, speaking less then normal, and i know they don't believe me when i just say it's just thoughts about school work getting too much, they know it's bullshit.
and sometimes i think i kill relationships for art i start up all this shit to watch 'em fall apart i pay my bills with it, i watch 'em fall apart then pay the price for it, i watch 'em fall apart, but
my past relationships, liz, wade, mj, they all went to shit. i don't mean to do it but i can't help it, but i just can't control it. the little things frustrate me and i frustrate them, arguments get bigger and bigger, too many emotions get involved, and i'm now paying the price, watching all these other couples happy, wishing i could be in their shoes. i just need someone who understands me and can deal with me, but i keep getting in shit situations, it's my own fault.
oh, i just wanna be fucking happy, oh, oh, oh. oh, i just wanna be fucking happy, yeah
happiness is the one thing i want, hopefully someday that can happen but until then, i'll just keep reminiscing on the past, the good and bad parts, i know i'll be happy one day.
completely fucking happy.