𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 🌸// GVF IMAGINES

always there - josh

Holy fuck always there is so amazing and I literally can't stop listening to it.

Anyways, enjoy this. :)

Warning: depression, self deprecation

———

I couldn't even get out of bed today. I thought about the day ahead of me and started to get anxious. The funny thing is, all I have to do today is go to work. I couldn't find the urge to even get up after I calmed down.

Even if I didn't go to work, nobody would care anyway. If I stopped going to work, I'd get fired, and that would be it. No follow ups. I don't blame them, though.

After lying in my bed for almost two hours, skipping work and breakfast, I decided to call my friend, Annie. She works at night, so she should be available to talk. I picked up my phone, dialed her number, and the phone rung. And it rang, and rang, and rang. No answer.

I then resorted to my sister. No answer. My brother. No answer. I took deep breaths, trying not to lose it. I threw my phone aside, putting my face in my hands.

I thought about calling my closest friend, Josh, but I knew he was busy recording music, like he does best. It would be wonderful to talk to him right now, but I don't want to bother him.

He had been my best friend for years, and he still was. Of course I wanted more. Who wouldn't? But he's been very busy lately, leaving me alone making me gradually more and more depressed. I heard my phone ring, immediately checking it to see it was just my boss. I declined it and slumped back down onto my pillow, and my eyes welled with tears. I felt so alone.

I must have cried myself to sleep, because I awoke with a knock on my bedroom door. I panicked, wondering who was in my home. My heart pounded, as I slowly sat up and reluctantly said, "W-who's that?"

"Y/n, it's Josh," I heard from outside the door. I sighed in relief as I hopped out of my bed (finally) and let him in. He looked worriedly me.

"Why are you here?" I genuinely asked.

"Your boss called me...I guess I was on your emergency contact list and you weren't answering? What's going on? You look terrible."

I shrugged and turned away from him. I knew I looked terrible. My hair was a disaster, I had bags under my eyes, my lips were cracked, and I was in pajamas. I felt terrible. "I don't know," I answered.

"Cmon, y/n..." he whispered, walking over to me and lightly touching my shoulder. I lightly tensed at the feeling of his hand. "Seriously, are you okay, y/n?"

I instantly turned around and hugged his torso, hiding my face in his chest. Tears flooded my face again as he lightly rubbed my back.

"I can't do it, Josh. I can't," I cried.

"Can't do what?"

"This! I can't go to work, I can't interact with anyone, I can't even get out of my bed!!" I shouted.

"You're interacting with me?" He reassured.

"Yeah, but you're my best friend...it's different," I quietly said.

"What's that mean?" He asked.

"I just feel so fucking lonely all the time now...and I get anxious over the tiniest things...but I don't feel like that when you're here...only you're never here," I explained.

"Why didn't you just call me, then?" He asked.

"I didn't want to bother you..."

"Y/n, listen," he began. "If you're ever feeling like this, please just call me. I'll always be there, I'll always answer or whatever you need. You won't ever bother me, no matter what. Okay?" He quietly told me. "Because I love you, y/n."

My heart almost jumped right out of my own chest. He loves me?

"I...what?" I stumbled.

"Nothing," he said, pulling away from my grasp. I pulled him back by grabbing his face, forcefully shoving my lips onto his.

It felt so right, me and him. I thought it would mess it all up, but if anything, it made it better. Made us better.

"Josh, I love you too," I smiled, for the first time in a while. He tightly hugged me back, me following suite. I could feel tears coming back again.

"Thank you for coming, Josh," I sobbed. "C-can you stay?"

"Yeah, sure," he smiled. "Just so you know, I'm always there."

———

Woohoo this is ass

Sorry bout this I can't write anything decent lately