Bury a Friend | Hemlock Grove |

Chapter 34 | Slow and Steady

Do you ever forget how you got somewhere? Like your mind knows you made that walk, took that cab, drove that car. It knows the exact path you took but the memory of taking it is gone. Suddenly you are somewhere new. It's almost as if you had been there all along.

Emma stays still, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking into the darkness until her eyes are drooping and her head hurts too much to stay awake. The room is vaguely familiar like it's from a dream or deja vu.

A chill brushes through the air and the duvet feels so soft. The only solution is to climb under the soft cotton and warmth. Sleep doesn't take long to come.

The next thing she knows there is soft light peeking through the windows. She's in Roman's bedroom alone wearing a set of his "Ebenezer Scrooge" pajamas. Even tied with a tight knot they are too loose. The memory of changing into them is vague and faded but it exists.

Laying in bed now, she feels like the first one to rise at a slumber party. She's unsure of whether she should get up, and if she does get up where does she go? Her cell phone is nowhere in sight and what meets her downstairs is a mystery. Maybe if she stays put long enough something will happen.

Even though she's no longer tired she falls in and out of consciousness until a voice calls for her. It's Roman, who luckily takes action then asks questions. It's not until they're locked in the safety of her bedroom that she hears the whole story- and that everyone is safe. Almost everyone.

It's strange how easily things snap back to normal when Peter returns to school. His life is pretty much the way it had been before. Emotionally, he's quite a bit drained and the school quietly mourns the last vargulf victim. It will be a while before everyone realizes she is the last.

While things are much more normal for Emma, she's had difficulty finding her way back into the group. Roman, clearly distraught from losing Shelley, is distant as well. He's doing his best to keep up appearances, though. He's trying to act like some version of himself that Emma doesn't recognize. Probably a version that was created during the past few months.

She knows he's using again- he's not even trying to hide it. Emma supposes he never really stopped, only took a break after his coma. Then there was his other bad habit. Over the past few years, she'd seen Roman make his way around with the ladies, but this was different. He was being nicer to them? She notices this one day after school when he told her he couldn't give her a ride.

There was no need to ask why- she along with everyone else at school knew why. Then he says something truly jaw-dropping. He tells her that he is taking the girl, whatever her name was, to go get coffee, then to "literally break her headboard." It strikes her as odd that one: he had completely ditched their dinner plans and two: was buying the girl a coffee before. Looking at the girl one more time, Emma surmises that this was the kind of girl Roman would normally fuck in the parking lot then leave her to walk home. Yes, it's very odd indeed.

Any comments she has she keeps to herself. If she tried to explain to someone what she was thinking they would say she sounded jealous. That wasn't it, she thinks. It's something concerning and confusing that rattles her brain. It's a good change. She should be happy that he's not being such an asshole anymore, but she's not. It feels like he changed without her.

Despite all of that, they're better, that's for sure. There isn't exactly a self-help book for the complex experiences they had. The only thing that had on their side was their shared stubbornness. They'd surprisingly been following her moms rule of Roman sleeping on the couch. That was a rule that even Kay herself knew was broken.

Now, at some point in the day Emma just wants to be left alone. She's not sure if Roman feels the same way, but she wants some privacy. He almost looks hurt when she says she's going to bed and makes it clear it's time for him to leave. It's foreign in a friendship where during the summer whole weeks had been spent together with no time apart.