It's finals week, finally. That means half days for the whole school, and despite the stress that comes with finals, it's worth it. Emma had been trying to study. This was her last chance to pull her grades up. If she didn't do well on these finals next semester wouldn't matter. It would all be C's and D's.
Monday was their study day, but they still went to all of their regular classes for reviews. She can feel all eyes on her when she enters the classroom. Yesterday she had stayed in her room and didn't speak to anyone, so she felt incredibly distant and socially neglected. Her mind couldn't process the words people were saying as fast as they were saying them. This made paying attention to the teachers almost unbearable.
She skips lunch to go to the library and make some note cards. She's still exhausted and coming down. The silence is refreshing and wraps around her like a warm blanket. Trying to study became a stressful event when her serotonin-drained mind couldn't fathom a world where it mattered.
She only looks up from her book when she hears the chair across from her scraping on the floor. "Hey!" Ally greets her in a hushed voice. "There you are. Been looking for you all lunch."
"Nutrition," Emma steals Peter's joke. "They call it nutrition."
"Ha ha," Ally replies sarcastically. "Take a break, we gotta talk."
"Al," she sighs tapping her pen uncomfortably, "I have to study. I'm fucked if I fail."
"Yeah, we're all fucked if we fail. Study tonight, talk now."
"What's up?" Emma gives up and sets down the pen.
"You know what's up," she says in a sing-song way.
"Look, I don't know what happened. It just did, and I want to forget about it," Emma closes her eyes. "I'm going to drinking until I forget."
"Em, you know how I feel about this whole situation," Ally pauses. "I am all for an Emma, Roman banging situation."
"Please don't-"
"What? You're both hot. I'm sure you had very aesthetically pleasing sex."
"I don't want to talk about it, Ally. I fucked up, I want to forget it."
"I just think you should think about why you were so willing to-"
"I wasn't so willing," Emma corrects her.
"Not from what I heard."
"Who told you all of this anyway?"
"Everyone knows," Emma bites her lip and looks up to the ceiling. "It's Hemlock, everyone knows everything." Not everything she thinks.
"I was drunk, I was high, and I just wanted to be with someone. It didn't matter who."
"But it does matter," Ally says. She's right, it did matter who it was.
"I know," she huffs. "I did some dumb shit, and now I'm stuck thinking about it."
"So why?"
"I just wanted to. I wanted to, so I did it." Ally gives her a sad half-smile. "I'm such a dumbass," Emma puts her head into her hands. It's hitting her now that if Roman got into a spiteful mood he really could ruin her life. "I'm stupid."
"No you're not," Ally stops her before she can continue on the rant. "You should probably talk to him, though." Emma knows she's right, but there's no way in fucking hell she'll do that. She tells herself that later that night she'll text him.
__________________
In the cafeteria, Peter holds out the sheet of paper. Every 30 seconds or so he looks up to see if Roman is around. He's read the letter too many times to count. He looks to Letha absentmindedly. "I don't get it."
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Bury a Friend | Hemlock Grove |
FanfictionThe last day of summer would be the last normal day of Emma's life- not that it had been very normal to begin with. Normalcy was a luxury rarely afforded to those near the Godfrey family, and she had always been too close. With Roman as a friend , a...