Record 29: Help Us Lord

32 1 0

by __assi

by __assi

Dear anyone,

Today is tuesday. It is a rainy day in our place so the sky is very gloomy.

Hmm, whenever I face hardtime I still go back here where there's freedom to be your real self. I mean I can tell anything I wanted from my heart because not all are for sharing to others especially those who knew me.

I remember what ethan said in 'I Love You, Goodbye' movie that it is okay to be open to strangers because they will not judge you. Well I don't know the exact phrase and I forgot it already but it is like that.

Yes, I am having hardtime today. I felt so wrong in everything. I don't know why, I only convincing myself that it's okay, it's okay but I am heavily burdened with it.

Last night we have received a message they made us 'wow' because it was an answered prayer, but later on worries came. What people will say, what people will think. I have a lot of what if... You know I want to enjoy and be happy with the blessing but these 'what ifs' overcomes me.

Life is not easy.

But today I am asking the Lord to help me appreciate the blessing and help me not to think of what other people will think or say.

Actually, that is not only the reason why I felt so wrong today.

I cannot tell you exactly what it is but I felt so bad about it. Really bad.

I am praying that everything will be okay. May the Lord help me how to react with it and what to say. Because I already felt awkward about it. It's hard for me to restore the trust and relationship we had. It's because I trusted so much again. It's my number one problem. My expectation hurt me big deal.

I should have taught myself to become easy, because we humans can fail sometimes. Or most of the time.

So we cannot fully trust others. Only God alone.

I really hope everything will be okay soon. Hopefully soon.

Because I don't want things like this. It is hard and overwhelming.

I cannot act naturally because I'm always awkward. Please help us Lord.

Please do something about it.

Forgive us Lord in our shortcomings. Please help us to grow and be the person you wanted us to be.

Please help us to become mature with this thing and face it with acceptance and not recentment. I wanna live life freely and happily . Free from all those negativity in life.

Please give me today what I need to keep moving forward. Give me understanding when things get gloomy. Give me vision when things are not on our way. Please help us to become positive and become a blessing anytime.

Not to think bad about others but to understand your will why there are things that happened without our control.

Help us to be near you always. Please Lord... Help us... To know exactly you plan for us.