Safe [Daryl Dixon X Reader]

Ch 5. Mentally Scarred

"Lonely is not
Being alone
It's the
Feeling that
No one cares."

You're on the road now. Walking with your head down. Feet stumbling over each other. Some of the others were worried, but you didn't say anything in response.

Hunger and thirst. It's built into your body by now. You haven't eaten in eighteen days. You've had some water, but you're still starving. There's hardly any food left. Nobody knew that you're been sneaking your portions to Carl. Nor did he decide to tell anyone.

You rubbed your tired eyes as you sat down next to Daryl. Everyone was still eating the couple of squirrels that Daryl caught. There wasn't enough food for everyone.

Nobody offered you anything.

Have they not noticed you've been practically starving yourself?

You can't go without food any longer. There isn't even enough water for that.

"Daryl?" You tapped his arm as he ate.

He nodded at you in response.

You hated to ask, but you did it anyway, "There isn't any food left. Can I just-- Can I have some of yours?"

There was a silence as he looked at the meat in his hands, then back to you.

"Nevermind, you don't have too." You looked down, guilty.

"When's the last time you ate?" He asked.

"Uh, a couple of weeks ago I think?"

"Fuck. I thought you were eating. Where's the food been going if you haven't eaten it?" He grabbed another piece of meat, planting it in your hand.

"I've been giving it to Carl. But don't get mad! He's a growing kid. He needs the food more than I do."

"You're saying you're not important to the group?" He looked at you, confused.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I've been trying to leave. Twice now. But you just won't let me. The group needs food. Not another mouth to feed."

"Cause I don't want you to leave!"

"Yeah, well, it isn't your decision," You said, feeling bad immediately after.

When he didn't say anything you opened your mouth again. "Nobody in this group cares about me or trusts me. Nobody's ever cared for me. Not even my own family, so I've always been better off alone."

You stood up before you could hear his the last thing he might ever say to you.

"I care about you."

--

You haven't talked to Daryl since the small argument you had with him.

But there's a prison.

You live there now.

You've been more and more closed off since you stopped talking to Daryl. You can't even respond when someone says something to you.