A Kiss of Life (Bk2)

Chapter 18

The chipper little bird chirped annoyingly on the brough nearby. I really couldn't tell what the excitement was all about. I stared at brough hoping it would simply snap and take the chirpy with it. The drop below was deep. An endless bottomless pit that no doubt led most straight to hell but I doubt the little chipper would meet that end. I doubt it would meet any end. It would surely just flutter its wings and fly away.

I turned away from the irritable sight. I knew it was not the little bird at fault. It was his missing counterpart one with equally white feathered wings only abominably large. And devastatingly handsome. Yes, let's not forget that bit about Fin.

I gazed at the setting sun with not mild trepidations. Tomorrow would be a long wait away. One that only brought about more anxiousness. More uncertainly. And certainly more pain. The pain of knowing Fin was not coming.

I couldn't quite get my head around that. It didn't really make sense. A flutter of wind behind me alerted me to a new presence. I inhaled his scent and knew instantly that Fin would not be coming.

"He's not coming is he?" I asked William.

I didn't turn to see him shake his head in agreement.

"The fool is battling his own jealousy," said William softly. I spun around at that.

"Jealously? Over what... or shall I say whom?" I asked angrily even as I begun to see the reasoning behind it. The fool. He was jealous of the bloody cloak. Of Michael.

"Don't judge him too harshly. You haven't seen or met Michael in his true form. Michael is said to have inspired a whole lot of reactions from all he met. Jealousy is the very least of it all.

But I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want excuses. I wanted Fin... here with me. "Does he know? What I intend to do with the cloak?" Somehow thinking of doing it with the cloak was a lot easier then considering getting it on with an ancient angel that inspired awe and a whole heap more with all he met.

I mean I was a virgin for stars sake. That was a lot of shit to measure up to. Then again I doubted the cloak had gotten it on over eternity either so he was as likely to be out of practice as I. Unless of course William wasn't telling me something he should.

Brrrr!

I guessed not.

"Are you okay?" William looked at me in askance.

"Fine just fine. Michael just doesn't like it when I call his manhood to question. Nothing to worry about," I said mildly.

William's expression was astounded. Hd opened his mouth to question me further but then decided against it.

"I guess I should just go then," he said looking for all his worth like he'd rather be anywhere else than here.

I simply nodded. I was still a little choked up by Fin's absence.

I turned back to face the scenery before me. This may well be the last time I had the pleasure of staring at it. Sighing deeply I decided than there was no point in waiting. None at all.

"You're going to do it than?"

His deep tones was music to my soul. I closed my eyes snd held on tightly to its rich timbre following after it frantically as it ran down my spine and reviberated across my nerve endings.

"I thought you weren't coming," I finally said softly.

"I didn't want to."

That snapped me up and about facing him. "Then go," I said all but snarling at him.

I watched him battle with himself. His hands clenched into fists holding himself tight.

"I.. I won't fight you on this," he managed to breath out. "If this is what it takes for you to return to me than do it but you cannot... cannot expect me to watch you give yourself to...to him.You're mine."

I crumbled to his feet then.

I understood.

But it had to be done. Things may never be the same between us after this but the dream of us had been great while it lasted. I knew he would never accept me after this. I knew it would never have worked out between us anyway. We were polar opposites. He was made to destroy me and mine. He would have to return to his old life. After this there would no longer be a need for him to stay here with me. Heaven would beckon him back into its folds.

I would be alone again once more.

"You don't have to stay. It was good of you to come as you did. Thank you. Thank you for the past thirty years," I muttered stiltedly.

Fin fell to his knees before me with a groan. He looked to be at war with himself.

"What is it? What do you want to say?" I urged him imploringly. But he only shook his head.

"It was better for you to not know," he whispered finally. "Know that what ever happens I will always be there for you. I am yours to command."

But I shook my head at him.  "No Fin. You are free to command your own destiny. We could never have been."

I rose to my feet than and resolutely turned away to gaze back unseeingly at the marvels of mother nature.

An instant later and I knew he was gone. I was alone again. Alone with cloak.

You know cloak. I will miss you too. We have intimately shared these last thirty years together. I would be intensely lonely without you. But I wish you well and I thank you for making this so much easier for me.

I warbled out the rest in a tear clogged tone.

I want you to leave. When this is done and when you are free. I don't want you to look back and see me. I realise I may not make it and I won't have you fault yourself for whatever happens to me.

I heaved out a final sigh.

Let's not wait any more. Let's just get this done with.

I sat back down onto the stone floor and folded my bony legs beneath me. I settled down to wait. For the rest of what was to happen... if it happened... was out of my hands.

It was entirely up to Michael.