I Do. (August Alsina)

I Do, 50

August Alsina.

It's been a good four years since Christian and I saw Sarah or heard of ha. It's been hard tryin ta take care of maself and lil man, but with God all thangs are possible. Lil Man was growing up quick as hell and he almost 10 na.

He's in the fifth grade and he a straight A student, he's on the lil baseball team at his school and this nigga energetic as fuck. I tell this nigga everyday that I love him and that I'm so fuckin proud of him. I'm one proud ass father.

And yeah, I said father. I wanted ta do errythang right so I adopted him. This is na ma muthafuckin son and I couldn't be mo proud of who he was becomin.

"You can't be in this room by yaself. You gotta come out, man." I said knockin onna do'.

Today was Sarah's birthday and I can't have him by himself in that room. When Christian was just 8, on Sarah's birthday, I found him laid out on the flo' cryin and shit. I kept tryin ta calm him down, but he couldn't. I even called Asia over ta help me because I neva dealt with that befo and I noticed his breathin was getting all choppy and shit, his face was red as fuck, he was coughin then cryin and coughin again. That was also the day I found out he had asthma. With all the cryin he did he left himself literally breathless.

Took him ta the hospital, and long story short turns out lil nigga got asthma.

"I'm not. I'm about to sit and play the game in the living room."

"Aight." I watched him as he hooked his PlayStation up ta ma tv.

I noticed his mood droppin every minute as the day rolled on. I know Sarah passin was messin with his head and his life. He wanted his mama and he couldn't have ha. He spent so much time with ha that when she left him, he didn't know what to do or how ta feel. The one thang I feared is this young boy, slippin inta depression. I didn't want him ta feel how I use ta feel.

"Aye, man. You wanna do some shit taday?" I asked.

"Like what? I thought you said you didn't wanna leave today."

"I know, but we ain't hung out fa real, since the tour picked up a lil."

"Yeah," he dropped his head. "Um can we visit grandma?"

"Which one?" I asked.

After years of abusive from ha punk ass husband, Sarah's mom finally left that hoe ass nigga. It was bad ta the point whea she had ta secretly call me ta talk ta ha own grandson. He hated Sarah so much that he wanted nothing to do with her or anything that came with ha.

After Ms. Sierra moved out, she moved to Atlanta and lived with ha son Simon. Simon was protectin and hidin ha from his abusive ass father since he didn't know she left him. Na she able ta see ha grandchile as much as she want.

I know if Sarah was hea' she'd be so fuckin happy.

"My mommy's mommy."

"Aight."

We gathered our thangs befo headin out ta the car. I closed and locked the do' as I turned around I noticed Christian starin up at the sky.

Walkin over ta him, I nudge him. "She up thea. Don't worry. Y'all gon meet again, not no time soon though. I know this life shit is hard, but look at me," I grabbed his face, makin him stare at me. "Look, you got so much more life, okay. We gone make it through this. I wanna see you older and not just 12, or 13. I wanna see you at 45, 55, or even 95. God got us hea fa a reason."

He wiped his face, noddin. "Okay."

I gave him a hug. "I remember you use ta pray every time something happened. What happened?"