oxygen (e.d.)

chapter one

{riley}

when i was a kid, school field trips made me the most excited out of anything. i'd lay out my outfit, lunchbox, and even have trouble sleeping the night before.

that's how i feel about this summer.

i have every aspect planned out, all my adventures, chill days, beach parties, and sleeping times.

my best friend sloane and i made it in january and added to the list every two weeks up until last tuesday.

"wait," sloane says from my passenger seat, "what's for tomorrow? the big first day of summer!" she whoops.

"calm down," i laugh, "tomorrow is filled with getting our rooms organized for the summer again."

"boo," she pouts, "no fun. next day is beach day?"

"next day is beach day." i confirm, tightening my grip on the steering wheel.

"hot guys shirtless," sloane sings.

i feel a slight twinge in my chest, but ignore it.

i need to get over ethan.

i've been trying, but every time someone mentions setting me up on a date, offering me a drink, or tries to make a move, i can't bring myself to.

ethan was my first love, and i'll always have a special place in my heart reserved for him.

but, this summer will be filled with just my best friends, the sun, the sand, and maybe a pina colada here and there.

"stop thinking about him," sloane rolls her eyes, reading my mind, "think of him as a fever dream."

"good idea," i smile.

"and besides," she adds, "he's already moved on."

she's right.

during the school year, i'd see new girls' faces all leave his room in the early morning. it made my healing process a lot harder to manage.

the last time i directly talked to ethan was on january 19th, to share my condolences for his father. the day marked his one year passing.

i made the text super formal, and he responded formally too. but, no matter how hard i tried, i could never stop caring for ethan.

sometimes, on the bad, lonely nights, i'd go through old text conversations with him. i always ended up laughing, crying, or smiling.

"it's been six months, ry."

"five." i correct.

she sighs; "what i'm saying is, don't worry about him. these next four months are dolan free. i won't even mention his name."

"thank you," i half smile at her, "i needed that wake up call."

sloane has been with me through everything. the girl has seen it all from me.

"it's what i'm here for," she mumbles, moving her seat back and laying down.

"i'm nervous at the fact i won't being seeing paige for awhile." i admit.

every single weekend after ethan and i broke up, i made sure to see my therapist. she's also been a big help.

"why do you need paige when you have me?" sloane jokes.

i elbow her lightly and she giggles.

i turn on to the exit that takes us straight home, and say a silent prayer for my sanity.